2nd parent adoption of a stepchild?
2nd parent adoption of a stepchild in same sex couples: is it the right choice?
2nd parent adoption is the process of adopting the biological or adopted child of one’s spouse. While laws vary to some degree state to state, now that same-sex couples can legally marry they go through a very similar process as heterosexual couples do when adopting a spouse’s child.
Why go through 2nd parent adoption?
There are many reasons people choose to go through the process of adopting a stepchild; those reason could vary from wanting to create a strong cohesion in the family unit, to wanting the child to be able to receive an inheritance or even wanting legal rights as a parent to help make decisions on the child’s education, health and welfare.
When is 2nd parent adoption is not the best option?
Adopting a stepchild is a lifelong commitment and should not, under any circumstance, be taken lightly. While adopting a stepchild can strengthen a family’s cohesiveness, it’s not going to strengthen a marriage on the fritz and should not be used as a tool to try and “save” a relationship. It’s important to make sure you’re completing the adoption for the right reasons. If the parental relationship is going through bumpy times, the adoption process can add further stress and it’s probably best to wait until the parental relationship is on solid ground before beginning the adoption process. This goes for any stressful situation; if the family at large is going through a particularly stressful time, it might be best to wait.
My stepchild’s other biological parent is still out there. Can I adopt?
If your stepchild’s biological parent still retains their legal rights as their parent (regardless of the extent to which they participate in the child’s life), you must get them to sign an “adoption surrender” or “consent to adoption” form in order for you to begin the 2nd parent adoption process. This will relinquish their parental rights to that child. If they refuse to sign an adoption surrender, you will likely have a much harder time adopting your stepchild. In that situation, a termination of parental rights action would need to be brought against the other biological parent. Furthermore, if the child is older than 12 years of age, they will also need to consent to the adoption.
What else can I do?
A great way to prepare for the adoption process is with counseling. 2nd parent adoption can, and often does, yield a shift in the family harmony. Often this change is positive, but not always. It’s incredibly helpful to discuss everybody’s feelings, the ramifications of adoption, biological parents, etc. as you’re going through the legal process.
Regardless of the situation, 2nd parent adoption can be overwhelming to navigate on your own. As the head of Nontraditional Family and Estates division of Albert W. Chianese & Associations, Anthony M. Brown provides experience and expertise in 2nd parent adoption and legal proceedings with same-sex couples and families. If you’re interested in adopting your stepchild and have any questions, call 212-953-6447 or feel free email any questions or concerns.