Kentucky Appeals Court reverses trial court ruling against lesbian mother

Beyoned (Straight and Gay ) Marriage by Nancy Polikoff – October 19, 2012

It still happens today.  Lesbian mothers lose custody of their children to their ex-husbands because they are lesbian.  Hard to believe, in this era when conservatives often support civil unions — just not marriage — for same-sex couples.  But it’s true.
And that’s what happened to Angela Maxwell and her three children earlier this year when a Hardin County, Kentucky judge awarded sole custody to the children’s father, Robert. The judge also limited Angela’s time with the children and said neither parent could live with a nonmarital partner while the children were with that parent. For more than a year before the trial, the children who were about 14, 12, and 6, had been alternating weeks between the two parents.  That temporary arrangement included a prohibition on unrelated guests spending the night when the children were there, so it appears that Angela was not living with her same-sex partner, Angel.  At the custody trial, Angela asked that the joint custody continue and that the overnight restriction be lifted.
The trial judge was not subtle about the reason he awarded sole custody to Robert.  “The [mother] is seeking to live an unconventional life-style that has not been fully embraced by society at large,” the judge ruled, “regardless of whether or not same-sex relationships should or should not be considered sexual misconduct.  Like it or not, this decision will impact her children in ways that she may not fully have considered and most will be unfavorable.”

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NOM compares potential gay parents to rapists, sexual predators

By: Tuesday October 9, 2012 Pams House Blend

Pay attention, gay folks. There is seems to be a quiet war going on against our rights to be surrogate parents.

Via the NOM blog, I found this highly offensive piece, The New Sexual Predators. In it, the author, Alana S. Newman compares gay couples and older woman to human traffickers out to steal the eggs of younger women.

Every portion of this piece is gag-worthy drivel:

Young women now have to defend themselves not only from stereotypical sexual predators, but also from older women and gay men who seek their eggs.

. . . there are new predators on the scene, for whom we do not have a script. There are new characters eager to exploit our daughters’ bodies, who enjoy unsullied reputations, passing detection even as they blatantly hunt for eggs and wombs with checkbooks in hand. And historically they have been the people women should fear the least. These new players vying for access to young women’s bodies are older or infertile women, and gay men—quite often our friends and members of our family.

. . . Our gay friends and family members may now also be after our daughters’ bodies. These are the only men in the world we thought we could trust because they weren’t interested in our bodies. That is, until they grew older and discovered they wanted to be parents. Today, more and more often, gay men are using egg donors and surrogates to create motherless children on purpose. Toleration of these attempts to create families follows a timeline of slipped slopes and fallen barriers. If heterosexual couples can use sperm donors to create children who are separated from their biological fathers, so the logic goes, then lesbians should be able to do the same thing. To them, it’s not biology that matters—kids just need two parents. And if lesbians use sperm donors to create fatherless children, then it’s only equal and fair for gay men to be able to use egg donors and surrogates to create motherless children too. Because again, it’s not biology that matters; kids just need two parents. At present, all those who believe in gender equality rather than gender complementarity are being urged to accept this often violent (against women) form of third-party reproduction.

It’s not just the the piece itself which we should be paying attention to but also who is promoting it. Yet again, the National Organization for Marriage undercuts its false claim of simply attempting to protect marriage and continuous whine about “falsely” being called bigots. By promoting this piece on its blog,  it is now even more apparent that NOM has declared war on same-sex families.

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NOM Defends Child Kidnapping Because Of A Parent’s ‘Biological Connection’

By Zack Ford  on Oct 1, 2012 – ThinkProgress.org

The National Organization for Marriage is once again insulting the adoptive relationships of parents who do not have a biological connection with their children. Jennifer Thieme of NOM’s Ruth Institute wrote recently that banning same-sex marriage is the “compassionate choice” for children, ignoring the millions of children already being raised by same-sex couples. In an attempt to raise alarm about what will happen if heterosexual couples no longer have special recognition on government paperwork, Thieme cites the tragic case of Lisa Miller, who embraced an ex-gay identity and kidnapped her daughter away to Central America to prevent her ex-partner, Janet Jenkins, from having legal guardianship:

Conservatives, and libertarians for that matter, should be extremely alarmed at the change from gendered marriage to genderless marriage. How many have heard the story of Lisa Miller, the bio mom who lost custody of her bio daughter to her former lesbian lover due to their civil union? The lover is not related to the child by blood or adoption, and this did not matter to the judge who made the ruling. Lisa escaped with her daughter to Central America. Her name appears on the FBI and INTERPOL Wanted Lists for parental kidnapping, and the Amish pastor who helped her escape has been convicted of “aiding an international parental kidnapping of a minor.” He might be looking at three years jail time.

Lisa’s biological connection to her own daughter was disregarded in favor of a public policy aimed at promoting equality. The objective, natural, and pre-political reality lost, and the subjective, artificial, and state defined reality won.

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The 10 Best Animated Movies for Gay Dads and Their Kids

Huffington Post – September 25, 2012 – By Rob Watson

One of a child’s first challenges is to understand his or her own world. For gay dads this presents its own set of issues, because much of the material we use with our kids basically ignores our very existence. Kids’ programming, books, and toy sets all reflect the mommy/daddy standard. That is not likely to change, that standard being the majority, so LGBT families find ways to cope. I was constantly editing as I read my boys “good night” books, changing the word “mommy” to “papa” so that they heard a story about a world that they found instantly recognizable.

Gay dads don’t get many advantages in the parenting landscape these days, what with cantankerous celebrities and bogus “studies” bashing us at every turn. The one area that can be our friend is the local DVD outlet, however. For whatever reason, due to a patriarchal Hollywood complex or just mere coincidence, there is a full treasure trove of great, father-affirming family material available.

I truly wish that in this piece I could trumpet material that is great for all LGBT families, but sadly there isn’t a lot of it. The horrifying fact is that it sucks to be a mom in animated movies. Being a birth mother is tantamount to being a victim of some horrible, misogynistic plague, because if you are one, the likelihood is that in these movies, you are either dead (Snow White, Cinderella, Beauty and the Beast, The Little Mermaid, Aladdin, Hoodwinked, and more) or absent/abandoning (Sleeping Beauty, Shrek, Tangled). If you are a stepmom or adoptive mom, it is worse: You are just plain evil (Snow White, Cinderella, Tangled). Even in the latest offering, Brave, the mother/daughter dynamic struck me as less than ideal; however, some of my women friends felt it did present a good mother/daughter dynamic.

So, lesbian moms, it is with a little guilt that I offer up this list of the 10 best gay-dad-friendly movies for kids. I wish there were similar offerings for your families. There should be. Whenever you are ready to go picket Disney, DreamWorks, Pixar, and others, I will march with you. In the meantime, here is my list, from the good to the best. I hope you agree.

10. Despicable Me (2010): Gru is despicable and inept at his profession of being a villain. In the end he demonstrates what it takes to be a good father, putting his kids first.

9. Cars (2006): Lightening McQueen has all the testosterone of a teenaged kid. He is finally tamed by the sage, gnarly, tough love of a surrogate dad, Doc Hudson (Paul Newman), and due to that influence he grows up.

Click here to read the entire article.

Rupert Everett Tries to Soften Offensive Gay Parent Remarks

The Advocate – September 19, 2012

Rupert Everett attempts to soften the controversy surrounding his speaking out against gay parenting by saying he realizes he’s “very out of kilter with the rest of the world.”

The 53-year-old openly gay actor has received continued scorn for remarks he made during an interview for the magazine section of London’s Sunday Times last weekend. “I can’t think of anything worse than being brought up by two gay dads,” he said.

While appearing on U.K. talk show This Morning, Everett stated that he was just expressing his opinion as an individual, joking that it’s good news he isn’t running for public office.

“I have lots of gay friends with children,” he said. “I have lots of gay friends who have got married, I’ve been to lots of gay weddings, but I’m not big into marriage straight or gay to be honest.”

Click here to read the entire article.

2011 National School Climate Survey: LGBT Youth Face Pervasive, But Decreasing Levels of Harassment

September 10, 2012 – NEW YORK – The Gay, Lesbian & Straight Education Network (GLSEN) today released The 2011 National School Climate Survey, the only national study that for over a decade has consistently examined the experiences of lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) students in America’s schools. The 2011 survey found for the first time both decreased levels of biased language and victimization and increased levels of student access to LGBT-related school resources and support.

The 2011 survey demonstrates a continued decline in anti-LGBT language over the years, and for the first time the 2011 survey shows a significant decrease in victimization based on sexual orientation. The survey has also consistently indicated that a safer school climate directly relates to the availability of LGBT school-based resources and support, including Gay-Straight Alliances, inclusive curriculum, supportive school staff and comprehensive anti-bullying policies. The 2011 survey had 8,584 student respondents from all 50 states and the District of Columbia.

“GLSEN has worked tirelessly for more than two decades to address endemic bias and violence directed at LGBT students in our schools,” said GLSEN’s Executive Director Dr. Eliza Byard. “With this report, we are beginning to be able to discern real impact of our efforts. Much work remains to be done to turn promising change into a concrete, sustainable reality, but those schools and districts that are taking action are beginning to make a real difference in improving the lives of students and providing better educational opportunity for all.”

Despite signs of progress, the survey found that the majority of LGBT students are faced with many obstacles in school affecting their academic performance and personal well-being. Results indicated that 8 out of 10 LGBT students (81.9%) experienced harassment at school in the past year because of their sexual orientation, three fifths (63.5%) felt unsafe at school because of their sexual orientation and nearly a third (29.8%) skipped a day of school in the past month because of safety concerns.

Click here to read the entire article.

Back-to-School Resources for LGBT Parents

Ala Mombian.com – August 24, 2012

Back-to-school time is here, which means it’s time for my annual back-to-school resource post, a tradition I first started way back in 2006. My own son wasn’t even in school then. He’s grown and changed, and so has this list. I originally wrote a version of the below as part of one of my newspaper columns last year. I’ve revised it somewhat and hope it remains useful, whether your children are just entering school, starting a new school, or encountering new issues along their educational journey.

For families with young children

The Human Rights Campaign’s An Introduction to Welcoming Schools guide is perhaps the best single resource for families with young children. It aims to help elementary school administrators, teachers, parents and guardians address family diversity, gender stereotyping and bullying, and includes a bibliography of books on all kinds of families, LGBT and not.

Also be sure to check out the trailer for Welcoming School’s DVD, What Do You Know? Six- to twelve-year-olds talk about gays and lesbians,  an award-winning professional development film for elementary school staff and parents. If you buy the DVD (setting you back a mere $20), you’ll get the 13-minute film, a two-minute trailer, a four-minute special feature Teachers Respond, and a Facilitation Guide, as well as closed captioning and Spanish subtitles.

The Family Equality Council’s “Back to School Tool”—newly revised for 2012—is a useful short guide for LGBT parents on how to make our children’s schools safer and more inclusive. The organization also offers “Opening Doors,” a short but helpful booklet with tips for educators and others. It discusses the kind of prejudice children of LGBT families may face, how educators can support them, and how they can answer questions other children may have about them.

For families with older children

Many resources aimed at older students focus on LGBT youth, but most also have applicability to children of LGBT parents, whatever the children’s sexual orientation or gender identity:

GLSEN has extensive safe-schools materials for both educators and students, including information on its educator training program and starting gay-straight alliances.

PFLAG’s Safe Schools for All: Cultivating Respect program has similar materials (in both English and Spanish) for making schools safer, reducing bullying, and providing comprehensive health education. They also offer a certification program for PFLAG members who want to assist with staff training and policy creation in local schools.

The Gay-Straight Alliance Network has materials for starting or sustaining a GSA, as well as the guide “Beyond the Binary: Making Schools Safe for Transgender Youth,” a joint project with NCLR and the Transgender Law Center.

NCLR has additional safe-schools information, including samples of anti-harassment policies and memos to school boards.

Book recommendations

The American Library Association’s Rainbow List offers LGBT-inclusive children’s and young adult books chosen buy a committee of librarians for quality as well as content.

Click here to read the entire article.

Father’s Age Is Linked to Risk of Autism and Schizophrenia

August 22, 2012
New York Times

Older men are more likely than young ones to father a child who develops autism or schizophrenia, because of random mutations that become more numerous with advancing paternal age, scientists reported on Wednesday, in the first study to quantify the effect as it builds each year. The age of mothers had no bearing on the risk for these disorders, the study found.

Experts said that the finding was hardly reason to forgo fatherhood later in life, though it may have some influence on reproductive decisions. The overall risk to a man in his 40s or older is in the range of 2 percent, at most, and there are other contributing biological factors that are entirely unknown.

But the study, published online in the journal Nature, provides support for the argument that the surging rate of autism diagnoses over recent decades is attributable in part to the increasing average age of fathers, which could account for as many as 20 to 30 percent of cases.

The findings also counter the longstanding assumption that the age of the mother is the most important factor in determining the odds of a child having developmental problems. The risk of chromosomal abnormalities, like Down syndrome, increases for older mothers, but when it comes to some complex developmental and psychiatric problems, the lion’s share of the genetic risk originates in the sperm, not the egg, the study found.

Previous studies had strongly suggested as much, including an analysis published in April that found that this risk was higher at age 35 than 25 and crept up with age. The new report quantifies that risk for the first time, calculating how much it accumulates each year.

The research team found that the average child born to a 20-year-old father had 25 random mutations that could be traced to paternal genetic material. The number increased steadily by two mutations a year, reaching 65 mutations for offspring of 40-year-old men.

The average number of mutations coming from the mother’s side was 15, no matter her age, the study found.

“This study provides some of the first solid scientific evidence for a true increase in the condition” of autism, said Dr. Fred R. Volkmar, director of the Child Study Center at the Yale School of Medicine, who was not involved in the research. “It is extremely well done and the sample meticulously characterized.”

The new investigation, led by the Icelandic firm Decode Genetics, analyzed genetic material taken from blood samples of 78 parent-child trios, focusing on families in which parents with no signs of a mental disorder gave birth to a child who developed autism or schizophrenia. This approach allows scientists to isolate brand-new mutations in the genes of the child that were not present in the parents.

Most people have many of these so-called de novo mutations, which occur spontaneously at or near conception, and a majority of them are harmless. But recent studies suggest that there are several such changes that can sharply increase the risk for autism and possibly schizophrenia — and the more a child has, the more likely he or she is by chance to have one of these rare, disabling ones.

Some difference between the paternal and maternal side is to be expected. Sperm cells divide every 15 days or so, whereas egg cells are relatively stable, and continual copying inevitably leads to errors, in DNA as in life.

Still, when the researchers removed the effect of paternal age, they found no difference in genetic risk between those who had a diagnosis of autism or schizophrenia and a control group of Icelanders who did not. “It is absolutely stunning that the father’s age accounted for all this added risk, given the possibility of environmental factors and the diversity of the population,” said Dr. Kari Stefansson, the chief executive of Decode and the study’s senior author. “And it’s stunning that so little is contributed by the age of the mother.”

Click here to read the entire article.

Pastor Convicted in Parental Kidnapping Case

New York Times – by Erik Eckholm, August 14, 2012

After only four hours of deliberation, a federal jury in Burlington, Vt., found an Amish-Mennonite pastor guilty of abetting international parental kidnapping in a widely publicized case involving same-sex unions and conservative Christian opposition to homosexuality.

The pastor, Kenneth L. Miller of Stuarts Draft, Va., could face up to three years in prison. He was convicted of helping Lisa A. Miller flee to Nicaragua with her daughter, Isabella Miller-Jenkins, in September 2009 to evade court-ordered visits with Ms. Miller’s former partner in a civil union in Vermont.

After the verdict, about 100 of Mr. Miller’s supporters from the Beachy Amish-Mennonite sect, the women in traditional long dresses and head scarves, gathered outside the courthouse to sing “Amazing Grace” and other hymns.

After splitting up with the former partner, Janet Jenkins, in 2003, Ms. Miller, who is not related to Mr. Miller, declared herself a born-again Christian, denounced homosexuality, soon began interfering with visits and tried to strip Ms. Jenkins of her legal rights as a parent. Ms. Miller moved to Virginia and, in 2009, as a frustrated Family Court judge in Vermont threatened to transfer custody of the girl, disappeared with her daughter.

The Beachy Amish-Mennonites regard homosexual behavior as a sin.

In the trial, Mr. Miller’s lawyer, Joshua M. Autry, did not dispute the evidence that Mr. Miller had helped arrange for Ms. Miller and her daughter to fly from Canada to Nicaragua and obtain shelter from missionaries in his sect. But Mr. Autry argued that Mr. Miller did not realize that Ms. Miller was defying any court orders at the time of the flight.

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Gay dads, 12 kids are officially a family

by Karina Bland – Aug. 11, 2012 – The Republic

Steven and Roger Ham, gay men raising 12 children adopted from foster care,  were recently named to Esquire magazine’s list of the 10 best dads of  2012. But the two had no idea until it was pointed out to them.

They’re a little busy.

Steven spent six years at home taking care of the growing family. In January,  he went back to work full time now  that Olivia, the youngest, is 3 and eager to go to preschool like her  siblings.

Roger, who works as a school-bus driver and had the summer off, took 11 of  the kids on a three-week, 4,248-mile road trip that involved four DVD players,  three iPads, a 11/2-pound dog named Zeus and a tiny  orange kitten that Elizabeth, 13, found recently.

Vanessa, 17, the oldest, bailed out of the 15-passenger van at their first stop in  Las Vegas. She opted for a sibling-free visit with Steven’s brother and his wife  while the rest of the clan headed up the West Coast, camping near beaches along  the way to Washington state to visit family, and then back to San Diego.

The family appeared in a story last year in The Arizona Republic  chronicling the dads’ efforts to adopt in Arizona.

Roger and Steven, partners for almost 19 years, have pieced together their  large family here in Arizona, where two men can’t marry and where conservative  lawmakers have tried a half-dozen times to keep single people, including gays  and lesbians, from adopting foster children. Last year, lawmakers passed a bill  that moved married couples to the top of the waiting list for adoptions.

After the story, the pair got calls from journalists around the globe and  accolades from human-rights groups.

The publicity even garnered Steven, 44, and Roger, 48, two spots among 10  fathers “who showed us how it’s done” in an issue of Esquire dedicated to  fatherhood.

Amid all this, they also got a phone call from Washington state that would  bring their family even a little bit closer.

Click here to read the complete article.