Must Know Facts for Intended Parents Using Surrogates

issue2My husband and I have learned SO MUCH through the process of our surrogacy experience and I hope that you can benefit from our lessons/mistakes/education.  First, every surrogacy agency, ibncluding our’s – Circle Surrogacy, will play down the costs.  There are numerous hidden costs that are not on their cost lists, such as personal travel, car rental, hotel, gifts…  We are due in September and we have spent over $145,000.00!

Second, make sure you know whether your surrogate has her own health insurance.  Ours does not and it has cost us almost $25,000.00 in extra fees.  Our agency said that we might have to wait “a verry long time” if we did not choose the surrogate that we currently have.  She is great and I love her, but if I had known then what I know now, we would have chosen someone else.

Make sure that your agency tells you EXACTLY what the legal situation is in the state where your child will be born in regards to the amendment of the birth certificate after the non-bio parent goes through the second parent adoption process.  Our agency found us a local attorney in North Carolina who did not know exactly how this would work.  He finally discovered that in North Carolina, there is no gender nuetral birth certificate document, so I will be listed as my son’s mother.  We also has to sue our donor, our carrier and our carrier’s husband AND WE ALL HAD TO APPEAR IN COURT IN NORTH CAROLINA.  Our donor and carrier were served with a summons without being forewarned and, as the intended parents, we are footing the bill for all of this.

I have tried to have a positive outlook, keeping my eye on the prize, so to speak.  I know that when we meet our son, all of the worries will diminish; however, I wish that someone had shared with me the details of what would be required, both financially and legally.


Anthony Brown

Anthony Brown

Attorney and Advocate at Time For Families
Who am I? On the deepest level, I am blessed. I have an amazing partner, who I have known since 1989 and been married to since 2004. I am the donor dad of two beautiful daughters who have two moms who are equally amazing. My husband and I have expanded our family through surrogacy and have a seven-year old son. I have had three careers (acting, massage therapy and the law) and I am still discovering myself. I am the Board Chair of Men Having Babies. The one thing I know for sure is that life is about trusting your instincts. Family is an instinct.
Anthony Brown