UK’s top family judge declares that UK law should give single parents through surrogacy the same rights as couples

 Sir James Munby, the President of the High Court Family Division, has made a formal declaration that UK law discriminates against single parents with children born through surrogacy and is incompatible with their human rights.

The case concerns a British biological father of a 21 month old boy known as ‘Z’, who was born through a US surrogacy arrangement and lives with his single father in the UK. Last September the High Court ruled that it could not grant our client a UK parental order (the order needed to extinguish the responsibilities of the surrogate and to issue a UK birth certificate for Z), because UK surrogacy law only allows couples, and not single parents, to apply. The court ruled that the US surrogate who carried Z (who lives in the USA, is not his biological mother and has no legal status there) has sole decision-making rights in the UK. Z was made a ward of court, which means the court safeguards his welfare and makes decisions about his care.international second parent adoption, gay parent adoption, Italy, lgbt Italy, glut Italy, gay families, international gay rights

The President of the Family Division has now declared that the law is incompatible with the father’s and the child’s human rights, and discriminates against them. In an unprecedented move, the Secretary of State for Health decided not to oppose the father’s application, conceding that UK law breached human rights legislation and consenting to the court making a declaration of incompatibility. Although only Parliament can change the law, declarations of incompatibility under the Human Rights Act are unusual and carry significant weight: only 20 final declarations have ever been made, and all but one have prompted the law being changed.  However, the government has not yet said whether it plans to push forward reform.

Responding to the judgment, Z’s father said: “I am delighted by today’s ruling which finally confirms that the law is discriminatory against both my family and others in the same situation. I persevered with the legal action because I strongly felt that my son should be in the same legal position as others born through surrogacy. I have a son who I love dearly and as part of this process there was a rigorous court assessment that confirms that I am a good parent. I am now eagerly waiting to hear what the Government will do so my son does not need to indefinitely remain a ward of court.”

Elizabeth Isaacs QC, his barrister, said: “Declarations of incompatibility are rarely made, so this is a very significant decision. Having consented to the declaration, there is no reason why the government should not take swift action to change the law. We hope that the law will be changed to enable a parental order to be granted for Z as soon as possible.”Through our work at NGA and Brilliant Beginnings, we have long felt the impact of surrogacy law’s exclusion of single parents, even though single parents can and do conceive children through surrogacy (just as they build families through adoption and other forms of assisted reproduction). The UK has a proud tradition of taking a progressive approach to assisted reproduction and non-traditional families, and the current surrogacy laws are a glaring anomaly which fail to uphold our most fundamental values of safeguarding children’s welfare. The law needs to change so that Z, and dozens of other children born through surrogacy to single parents, can be rescued from legal limbo.

Click here to read the entire blog post.

May 21, 2016, by Natalie Gamble

in In the News / International / Surrogacy  by Anthony Brown 0 comments

Children’s Books To Help Discuss Gender and Being Different With Your Kids

Some time ago, our blogger Stephen Stratton wrote an excellent article entitled “How to Talk About Gender and Trans People With Your Kids.”

We are republishing Stephen’s list of good children’s books dealing with being different, gender, and trans people. Reading them with your kids could be a great starting point for conversations in your family about these topics.

In Stephen’s words, “When we start to break it down, the easiest way to talk to your children about trans people is just to make space to talk about gender, early and often. The more we as a community normalize openness and honesty around gender and trans experience, the more space we make in the world for families like mine to feel safe, welcome and celebrated.”

I Am Jazz – Jessica Herthel

The story of a transgender child based on the real-life experience of Jazz Jennings, who has become a spokesperson for transkids everywhere

“This is an essential tool for parents and teachers to share with children whether those kids identify as trans or not. I wish I had had a book like this when I was a kid struggling with gender identity questions. I found it deeply moving in its simplicity and honesty.” — Laverne Cox (who plays Sophia in “Orange Is the New Black”)

From the time she was two years old, Jazz knew that she had a girl’s brain in a boy’s body. She loved pink and dressing up as a mermaid and didn’t feel like herself in boys’ clothing. This confused her family, until they took her to a doctor who said that Jazz was transgender and that she was born that way. Jazz’s story is based on her real-life experience and she tells it in a simple, clear way that will be appreciated by picture book readers, their parents, and teachers.

My Princess Boy – Cheryl Kilodavis

Dyson loves pink, sparkly things. Sometimes he wears dresses. Sometimes he wears jeans. He likes to wear his princess tiara, even when climbing trees. He’s a Princess Boy.

Inspired by the author’s son, and by her own initial struggles to understand, this is a heart-warming book about unconditional love and one remarkable family. It is also a call for tolerance and an end to bullying and judgments. The world is a brighter place when we accept everyone for who they are.

10,000 Dresses – Marcus Ewert

Every night, Bailey dreams about magical dresses: dresses made of crystals and rainbows, dresses made of flowers, dresses made of windows … Unfortunately, when Bailey’s awake, no one wants to hear about these beautiful dreams. Quite the contrary. “You’re a BOY!” Mother and Father tell Bailey. “You shouldn’t be thinking about dresses at all.” Then Bailey meets Laurel, an older girl who is touched and inspired by Bailey’s imagination and courage. In friendship, the two of them begin making dresses together. And Bailey’s dreams come true!

This gorgeous picture book — a modern fairy tale about becoming the person you feel you are inside — will delight people of all ages.

Red: A Crayon’s Story – Michael Hall

A blue crayon mistakenly labeled as “red” suffers an identity crisis in the new picture book by the New York Times-bestselling creator of “My Heart Is Like a Zoo” and “It’s an Orange Aardvark!” Funny, insightful, and colorful, “Red: A Crayon’s Story,” by Michael Hall, is about being true to your inner self and following your own path despite obstacles that may come your way. “Red” will appeal to fans of Lois Ehlers, Eric Carle, and “The Day the Crayons Quit,” and makes a great gift for readers of any age!

Red has a bright red label, but he is, in fact, blue. His teacher tries to help him be red (let’s draw strawberries!), his mother tries to help him be red by sending him out on a playdate with a yellow classmate (go draw a nice orange!), and the scissors try to help him be red by snipping his label so that he has room to breathe. But Red is miserable. He just can’t be red, no matter how hard he tries! Finally, a brand-new friend offers a brand-new perspective, and Red discovers what readers have known all along. He’s blue! This funny, heartwarming, colorful picture book about finding the courage to be true to your inner self can be read on multiple levels, and it offers something for everyone!

Jacob’s New Dress – Sarah Hoffman

Jacob loves playing dress-up, when he can be anything he wants to be. Some kids at school say he can’t wear “girl” clothes, but Jacob wants to wear a dress to school. Can he convince his parents to let him wear what he wants? This heartwarming story speaks to the unique challenges faced by boys who don’t identify with traditional gender roles.

Meet Polkadot (The Polkadot Series Book 1) – Talcott Broached

Have you been looking for a story with which to begin and/or continue meaningful and accurate conversations about gender identity?

Perhaps you wish to have dialogues that center and normalize transgender identities but you feel worried you may not have accurate information?

Maybe you ARE trans or you have a child/family member who is trans and you are ready for a book that honors transgender experiences rather than sensationalizes transgender lives and bodies?

Meet Polkadot is the first in a series of books that introduces readers to our main character Polkadot, a non-binary, transgender child. This book is an accessible introduction and primer to the the diversity of gender identity, the importance of allyship, and the realness of kids like Polkadot.

Gayswithkids.com – April 25, 2016

Click here to read the entire article.

in Egg Donation / Parenting / Recently Added / Step Parent Adoption / Surrogacy  by Anthony Brown 0 comments

Why More Gay Couples Are Embracing Surrogacy

When we moved house nearly four years ago, we soon met the other gay couple in the street – they had brought up two boys in a ‘merged home’ – ex-wife, husband-turned gay and gay partner all under the same roof. For a long time earlier straight relationships had been the commonest means by which gay men found themselves fathers.

From the 1990s, hundreds of hopeful gay men agreed to “donor dad” or co-parent arrangements with single women and lesbian couples here in Australia. Sadly, many of those men found themselves cut out of the lives of the children they had fathered. Many were left yearning for kids of their own.

One of the biggest barriers to accepting my own sexuality as a 23-year-old back in 1990 was the certainty than I’d forfeit the chance to be a dad. A decade later, surrogacy started to be talked about – though it was always associated with celebrities, or uber-expensive US options.

gay surrogacy

In recent years, I’ve met hundreds of gay guys who have either raised the funds to create a family overseas or found a surrogate here. It turns out there are so many ways to engage in surrogacy.

Take Michael and Jarred. Six years ago, this Brisbane couple found a local surrogate Rachel Kunde who was willing to use her own eggs and womb – what’s called traditional surrogacy – to help them create twin boys Huxley & Elijah, who are now four years old. For Rachel, providing her eggs as well as her tummy comes naturally – she’s since carried for other couples too.

A year after our own girls were born via surrogacy in India I met with the then Attorney-General Jarrod Bleijie to convince him that his plan to ban gay men from accessing surrogacy in Queensland was a stupid one. Luckily, he listened.

by Sam Everigham – news.com.au, May 11, 2016

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in In the News / International / Surrogacy  by Anthony Brown 0 comments

Compassionate Surrogacy – Options For Your Family

adoption and surroagcy lgbt family planning

Compassionate surrogacy, sometime referred to as altruistic surrogacy, is the process where a woman, the compassionate surrogate, carries a child of the intended parents with the intention of giving that child to the parents once it is born.

A compassionate surrogate does not receive compensation for her services.  It is a special person who can be a compassionate surrogate.  When is compassionate surrogacy the right choice for your family?  The answers depend upon several factors.

 

  1. Compensated surrogacy is currently illegal in 3 states: New York, Michigan and Louisiana. While that doesn’t necessarily mean you can’t use a surrogate in those states, entering a compensated surrogacy contract could incur criminal penalties depending on your state of residence. Compensated surrogacy means that the surrogate mother receives a fee for participating in the surrogacy process.
  1. If you want to go through compassionate surrogacy in New York, the surrogate cannot accept compensation outside of statutorily allowed medical and legal costs. The surrogate in these cases is often known by, and close with, the intended parents. It may be a family member as well. You will need a lawyer to determine what costs are and are not allowed to be paid by you, and also to draft a Memorandum of Understanding between the intended parents and the surrogate mother to outline the process and provide for all possibilities that may occur during the process from insemination to birth, and beyond.
  2. A surrogacy, or ART (Assisted Reproductive Technology) attorney must have extensive experience in these types of agreements and can help you and your partner or spouse learn what to expect, average timelines, required paperwork, and even let you know the average costs as well as what is and isn’t legal for you to pay for during the pregnancy.
  3. A compassionate surrogacy attorney can help you manage the relationship with the surrogate and provide dispute resolution that may be needed throughout the surrogacy process, in most cases through the surrogate mother’s separate attorney.
  4. The most critical aspect of compassionate surrogacy is establishing the parental rights of the non-biological intended parent.       Your attorney can help the non-biological parent petition for second or step parent adoption so that both parents have a legal relationship established to the child as soon as possible. Read this article for more information about the second/step parent adoption process.
  5. It’s extremely important to have a lawyer draft any agreement or Memorandum of Understanding between the intended parents and the surrogate mother. If there is a misstep in the contract, you and your child could potentially go through a lengthy and painful custody battle (not to mention the aforementioned criminal penalties in NY) should the mother change her mind. It would be devastating to lose your child over a technicality in the contract.
  6. The hardest part of the process to really grasp is that the Memorandum of Understanding is technically unenforceable in New York.  It’s purpose is to have the parties go through the process of discussing the elements of the journey and the possible contingencies that may occur.
  7. It is critical that psychological support services are provided for both the surrogate and the intended parents and that both parties thoroughly understand the process before entering into any agreement.

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There is currently legislation in New York State that would legalize compensated surrogacy. The Child Parent Security Act would not only make compensated surrogacy a legal option for NY parents, it would also allow both intended parents to be immediately legally recognized as parents at the birth of the child, thus negating the need for the lengthy process of second or step parent adoption by the non-biological intended parent. The CPSA would further protect the rights of surrogates, making sure they are not legally responsible in any way for a child they never intended to parent. While the LGBT community, as well as opposite-sex couples who may need a surrogate, are hopeful it will pass, the bill has been stuck in committee for many years.

If you’re thinking of expanding your family with the help of a compassionate surrogacy, start the process by speaking with an experienced attorney so you can get a solid idea of what to expect, and even if it’s the right decision for your family. As a leading expert in the Family and Estates division of Albert W. Chianese & Associations, Anthony M. Brown is here to help your family with all of its growing legal needs. Call 212-953-6447 or email anthony@timeforfamilies.com to answer any questions you may have concerning compassionate surrogacy or any legal questions concerning same-sex family planning.

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in Featured Articles / IVF / Legal / Parenting / Surrogacy  by Anthony Brown 2 comments

Top Concerns for Gay Men Considering International Surrogacy

International surrogacy poses many questions, and potential obstacles for gay couples.

A gay couple made global headlines last year when their plans for having a baby together went horribly wrong. Manuel Santos and Gordon Alan “Bud” Lake III chose to move forward with a surrogate in Thailand, but after their baby was born, the surrogate refused to sign the final papers, chose to back out of the contract, and eventually decided to fight for custody. International surrogacy was back in the news.

Their case eventually went to court, but was complicated by the fact that the law in Thailand does not recognize same-sex marriages. On top of that, a new law that bans commercial surrogacy went into effect after their baby was born. The odds were stacked against them and the couple had to turn to crowd-funding to help pay for the legal fees and the costs of staying in the country during the battle. Thai surrogate mother

“Our lives have been turned upside down,” the couple explained on Fundly. “Our jobs are in danger, our family is now divided, false allegations and criminal charges have been brought against us. What was supposed to be the happiest time of our lives, bonding with our new baby girl — our daughter and our son’s new little sister – has turned into an absolute nightmare.”

I’ve heard similar stories like this before. I recently published a book titled, Journey to Same-Sex Parenthood: Firsthand Advice, Tips and Stories from Lesbian and Gay Couples, to help LGBT people understand the pros and cons to the various paths to parenthood. The book compares adoption, surrogacy, foster care, assisted reproduction, and co-parenting. One section in the book tells the story of David and Josh, a gay couple who decided to have a baby through international surrogacy but wound up stranded in India for a month after the government refused to grant exit visas for their newborn twins.

David and Josh were eventually allowed to bring their children home to the U.S. I’m also happy to announce that on April 26, Santos and Lake won their court battle in Thailand too, although the couple is still not able to take their child out of the country right away because of the possibility of an appeal by the surrogate mother.

I don’t want to make it sound like surrogacy is bad, or that all people who choose international surrogacy are destined to have horrible experiences, but I do want to raise awareness about the challenges that LGBT people may encounter when choosing to move forward on this path. Here are the top three things you should be aware of when considering international surrogacy.

Possible legal complications – If you are thinking about going to another country for surrogacy, consider the potential emotional and financial cost if you run into complications. Depending on your situation, you may not be able to bring your baby back to the United States or you may have lengthy delays before you can return. International surrogacy is complex and doesn’t have clear protections. Do your research to understand what legal rights the surrogate will have if any, and how the county protects LGBT couples. Consult with a lawyer that specializes in international surrogacy prior to moving forward so that you can be knowledgeable about the situation ahead of time.

Possible breach of contract – Even though all parties sign a contract in the beginning, it is still possible for a surrogate to violate her end of the agreement. There is a risk the birthmother could voluntarily have an abortion without the consent of the intended parents or refuse to have an agreed-upon abortion when recommended by the physician. It is also possible that the surrogate could use drugs, consume alcohol or fail to follow other behavioral restrictions laid out in the contract. In the case of Santos and Lake, the surrogate decided to back out of the contract all together after the baby was born.

by Eric Rosewood, HuffingtonPost.com, April 28, 2016

Click here to read the entire article.

in Ethics / International / Recently Added / Surrogacy  by Anthony Brown 0 comments

Gay couple wins custody of their one-year-old daughter from Thai surrogate mother

A same-sex American-Spanish gay couple won a high-profile custody battle Tuesday against a Thai surrogate mother who gave birth to their child but then decided she wanted to keep the baby when she found out they were gay.

Bangkok’s Juvenile and Family Court ruled that the legal guardian of the 15-month-old child, named Carmen, is her American biological father, Gordon Lake, and against the child’s Thai surrogate mother, said Lake’s lawyer Rachapol Sirikulchit.

‘The court has granted legal custody of Carmen Lake to Gordon Lake, my client, and (said) that my client is her only guardian,’ Rachapol said.international surrogacy

Lake and his partner, Spaniard Manuel Santos, both 41, have been stuck in Thailand since launching their legal battle after Carmen was born in January 2015.

Santos emerged from the court smiling and with tears in his eyes.

‘We won,’ he told reporters. ‘We are really happy. … This nightmare is going to end soon.’

‘After 15 months, Carmen will fly to Spain,’ where the couple lives, Santos said.

Rachapol said the couple would not be able to take Carmen out of the country right away pending the possibility of an appeal by the Thai surrogate mother, Patidta Kusolsang. She was not in court and her intentions could not immediately be learned.

Lake and Santos celebrated their legal victory on the ‘Bringcarmenhome’ Facebook page set up to support their custody fight.

‘There is no way to express with words what we are feeling!’ they posted. ‘We are crying, our family is crying, our friends are crying, and we are sure all the Thai people who showed their love for us during this time are crying too.’

‘Today is a huge day for love, for family and for truth. And it is also a big day for LGBT rights,’ said their posting, referring to lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender rights.

The case was seen as complicated by the fact that Thai law does not recognize same-sex marriages and also by a new law that bans commercial surrogacy, which took effect after Carmen’s birth. Rachapol said the court’s ruling was based on a transitory clause in the law allowing the intended parents of any baby born before the law took effect to request to be the legal parents.

Click here to read the entire article.

DailyMail.co.uk by Associated Press – April 26, 2016

in In the News / International / Legal / Surrogacy  by Anthony Brown 0 comments

Louisiana surrogacy bill to protect surrogacy arrangements advances, despite opposition from both sides of aisle

Louisiana surrogacy is legal, but right now, there are no protections for either the biological parents or the birth mother. In the eyes of the law, the woman who gives birth to a baby is the mother, so a surrogate could ultimately decide to break an agreement and keep the child, and the biological parents would have no legal recourse.

Similarly, the biological parents could decide midway through a pregnancy they no longer want the child, and the surrogate mother would be legally responsible for the child, another wrinkle in Louisiana surrogacy arrangements.

Loren McIntyre is in the process of adopting her firstborn son.

Born in January, he is 100 percent genetically her and her husband’s offspring, but the couple used a gestational carrier, or surrogate, to give birth. And in Louisiana, legally she is not the mother until the adoption is finalized this June.

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Pregnant woman belly with rainbow symbol LGBT

McIntyre, who has severe endometriosis, is unable to give birth to her own children. She underwent seven unsuccessful rounds of in vitro fertilization before deciding to seek surrogacy.

McIntyre shared her story on Monday with a legislative House committee in the State Capitol in hopes lawmakers will pass a bill that creates legal safeguards in Louisiana surrogacy, where virtually none exists.

House Bill 1102 sets up a legal framework for surrogate arrangements, which bans compensation to the surrogate mother, sets age requirements, requires medical testing and counseling, and mandates background checks. Importantly, it ensures the surrogate mother cannot make a legal claim to the child, and it forbids the biological parents from being able to back out on the agreement.

An identical version of the bill was passed by the full Legislature last year but was vetoed by Gov. Bobby Jindal. On Monday, the House Committee on Civil Law and Procedure advanced the measure without objection. It goes to the full House of Representatives for consideration.

But the measure had ample opposition from both sides of the aisle.

On the left, LGBT groups opposed the language that defines the intended parents as a “man and a woman,” preventing same-sex couples from being able to use surrogacy as an avenue for parenting. The bill also requires that the embryo come from the egg and sperm of the intended parents, which again, precludes same-sex couples.

LSU Law Professor Andrea Carroll testified that while she believes there’s a need for HB1102, she believes that wording would render it unconstitutional, per last year’s U.S. Supreme Court decision legalizing same-sex marriage.

On the right, conservative anti-abortion groups testified that the act of surrogacy often requires multiple unused embryos that are frozen or discarded.

“Life starts at the embryonic stage,” said Ben Clapper, with Louisiana Right to Life. “It’s a human life that needs to be protected.”

State Rep. Stuart Bishop, the Lafayette Republican who sponsored the bill, stressed that in vitro fertilization and surrogacy already are legal.

April 18, 2016 – TheAdvocate.com by Rebekah Allen

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in In the News / IVF / Known Donor / Surrogacy  by Anthony Brown 0 comments

Coca-Cola Will Offer More Inclusive Parental Leave, Including Surrogacy

Citing the influence of its millennial employees and the need to promote gender equality at work, Coca-Cola on Monday announced a far more inclusive paid parental leave policy.

 

Previously, Coke only gave six to eight weeks paid parental leave to female employees who gave birth. But starting in January, all new parents at Coke — including dads, adoptive and foster parents — will be entitled to six weeks off upon the arrival of their kids. Birth mothers will also be entitled to an additional six to eight weeks leave. The new benefit is not available to unionized Coke workers. Overall 40,000 employees are eligible, out of 60,000 in the U.S.2nd parent adoption, second parent adoption, second parent adoptions, second parent adoption new york

“Fostering an inclusive workplace means valuing all parents – no matter their gender or sexual orientation,” Ceree Eberly, Coke’s chief people officer, said in an announcement on the company’s website. “We think the most successful way to structure benefits to help working families is to make them gender-neutral and encourage both moms and dads to play an active role in their family lives.”

The company, which took in $44 billion in revenue last year, said the policy was “championed” by a formal group of millennial employees who had been asked to come up with ideas for attracting and retaining younger workers. By 2020, Coke expects more than half of its workforce will be of the “millennial generation,” born between 1981 and 1997.

HuffingtonPost.com, April 18, 2016, by Emily Peck

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in In the News / IVF / Known Donor / Parenting / Second Parent Adoption / Step Parent Adoption / Surrogacy  by Anthony Brown 0 comments

HIV Positive Dads Follow Their Family Dream

These HIV positive dads fathered children. Science has come a along way to help HIV+ dads have families of their own.

Aslan always believed he would be a father—if not with a partner, then by teaming up with one of his straight, single female friends. But “at the age of 36, I became infected with the [HIV] virus,” he said. “I thought my whole world collapsed. Everything crashed with that. I believed that there would be no child.” He was gay and single, living in a cosmopolitan city in his southern European country, when a female friend asked him to pair up to make a baby. He had heard that it could be done safely, but when he told her his HIV status, her reaction, he said somewhat morosely, was “very naturally, not very brave.” Unwilling to face that rejection again, he spent years trying to bury his profound desire become one of many HIV positive dads.

Things were different for Brian Rosenberg and Ferd van Gameren, who were already in their forties by the time they began thinking about having kids. Their early years together focused on keeping Brian, who is HIV+, healthy and Ferd negative. But once protease inhibitors emerged and Brian’s health was stable, the couple decided to focus on enjoying life. They moved from Boston into a one-bedroom Chelsea co-op in New York City, started summering in Fire Island, and hopped around their friends’ parties having “a gay old time,” as Brian put it.Donor

After several years, though, all that began to pale. “We started thinking that life had to be more meaningful for us than the next party, the next fabulous vacation.” They wanted a family, and all the responsibility, love, and exhaustion that went with it. They tried adoption first, but when one birthmother backed away, their hearts were broken–so they discussed surrogacy. Given his HIV status, Brian assumed that Ferd would be the biological dad–but Ferd wanted to raise Brian’s bio children. And so in 2009 Ferd went online and found the Special Program for Assisted Reproduction, or SPAR, dedicated to helping HIV-positive men father children safely. The program is run by the Bedford Research Foundation and its director Dr. Ann Kiessling.

Back in southern Europe, by 2011, Aslan was learning about the same option. He was seven months into a new relationship that seemed as if it would stick—and despite himself, he began to imagine having a family with this man. Coincidentally, an American friend forwarded him an article about Circle Surrogacy, which worked with HIV-positive gay men in the States. “And it gave me, like, a wow, big hope, a new window to plan my life again!” Aslan quickly contacted Circle Surrogacy, which connected him with Dr. Ann Kiessling. “She was very kind and explained all the procedures, that it’s completely safe. And this was the start.”

But how can HIV positive dads father children?

“How” has both a practical and a technical answer. This article will tell you the practical steps to take, one by one, with some technical information mixed in along the way. Experts agree that it can be done safely. According to Dr. Brian Berger of Boston IVF, over the past 15 years fertility centers have helped conceive thousands of babies fathered by HIV-positive men—and not a single woman or child has been infected as a result.

So how can an HIV-positive gay man become a biological father? Let’s look at the process, step by step.That’s because, apparently, HIV cannot attach to or infect spermatozoa—the single-cell swimmers that deliver chromosomes to an egg. Sometimes the surrounding fluid—the semen, the ejaculate that carries the sperm along, and which is made separately—does include HIV. But sperm is made only in the testes, which are walled off from the rest of the body, heavily fortified against the illnesses or infections that might affect the rest of the body, for obvious evolutionary reasons. Because sperm doesn’t get mixed with semen until the very last moment, at ejaculation, it remains safe. And after decades of research, the medical profession has figured out how to use only the uninfected sperm to fertilize an egg.

Step 1: Make sure dad is healthy. 

The first, and most important, step is to ensure that the prospective dad is healthy—that his HIV levels are undetectable or nearly so, his T-cell count is high, he’s free of other complications or infections, and he is working closely with a doctor to stay in good health. Says Dr. Bisher Akil, a New York City physician who specializes in caring for HIV-positive patients, “Can HIV positve dads become parents? The answer in 2014 is absolutely yes.” In 2014, no one should use his HIV infection to stop from having a full and normal life, he emphasizes. “The only point I make to potential fathers is that they need to take care of themselves and make sure they have their infection under control. The occasional medical problem that might appear, whether or not related to HIV, needs to be treated very aggressively. They need to be compliant with medications and treatment. That’s not any different from any father with a chronic illness. Now that they have responsibility of having a child, we want to take them through their lives.”

Click here to read the entire article.

April 5, 2016 via gayswithkids.com

in Family Stories / IVF / Legal / Parenting / Personal Stories / Science / Surrogacy  by Anthony Brown 0 comments

Kiwi dads speak out from Mexico – Their Story

Meet Lachlan, Kelly and Blake: the newborns who are about to find themselves at the center of an international legal storm.

The “triplings” were born to surrogate mums in Mexico, in an arrangement with their Auckland parents, David and Nicky Beard, and an Argentinian egg donor.

Kiwi dads, the Beards have now decided to publicly identify themselves on Stuff, to raise awareness of their battle. They believe they were the last gay couple allowed to use international surrogates to give birth to their children, as Mexico tightens its IVF laws to bring them in line with most other nations.

David Beard, 41, the biological dad, is a prominent lawyer and the owner of Auckland law firm LegalStreet. His husband Nicky Leonard Beard, 32, is originally from Ireland. The couple issued a simple plea early on Tuesday morning: “David, Nicky, Lachlan, Blake and Kelly simply want to come home to their family.”

international surrogacy

Speaking openly early on Tuesday, David Beard shared his emotions at becoming a father.

“I cannot describe the feeling. It was beautiful. It was instant love and caring, like a lion with its cubs, I looked at them and could not believe that they had come from me.

“I looked at their eyes and their faces and I cried. I only cry when I am happy – which is weird in itself! They are beautiful, and no matter how smelly the nappies are, they are still beautiful.”

The couple desperately wanted to get their children home from Villahermosa. They were pleading for help from friends and family around the world but, most of all, from the New Zealand and Mexican governments.

Click here to read the entire article.

by JONATHAN MILNE, NICOLE LAWTON AND ANNA BURNS-FRANCIS – Stuff.co.nz March 29, 2016

in Anonymous/Known Donation / Egg Donation / Family Stories / International / Personal Stories / Step Parent Adoption / Surrogacy  by Anthony Brown 0 comments