The Gay Parenting Assistance Program (GPAP) From The 2015 NYC Men Having Babies Conference
The European Parliament has condemned surrogacy, even as it is being offered in Europe for $37,500.
The Parliament adopted a resolution condemning “the practice of surrogacy, which undermines the human dignity of the woman since her body and its reproductive functions are used as a commodity.” The resolution continues, “The practice of gestational surrogacy which involves reproductive exploitation and use of the human body for financial or other gain, in particular in the case of vulnerable women in developing shall be prohibited.”
Family and Christian groups applauded. The European Federation of Catholic Family Associations “warmly” approved the vote and called on the EU to follow on the statement in principle with instructions to member states to “systematically treat surrogacy as a matter of urgency, fighting human trafficking for reproductive exploitation” and to set up an international agency to “effectively stop this practice.”
Surrogacy is banned in many European countries while legal on a non-commercial basis, where only the mother’s expenses may be paid, in some others. An organization calling itself Fertility International Solutions is offering “surrogacy in Europe from $37,500” from a base in Kiev. Its Ukrainian surrogate mothers are paid “on an income-adjusted basis up 8 year’s salary [sic] for their incredible gift.”
In surrogacy, the surrogate mother either conceives a child from donor sperm and her own egg or accepts an embryo into her womb conceived in vitro using both donated egg and sperm. FIS charges “as low as” $37,500 for surrogacy involving a “shipped embryo” and at least $42,000 when only sperm is donated.
Dr. Joseph Meaney, director of international coordination for Human Life International, told LifeSiteNews that surrogacy is wrong for many reasons, not least of which is that “it completely dissociates pregnancy from parenthood.”
“Children are treated as commodities that can be ‘made to order’ and bought,” a violation of “their human rights and dignity,” said Dr. Meaney. As well, “there is a clear exploitation of poor women who … let others use their eggs and/or their wombs.”
Dr. Meaney also warned of health problems associated with the drugs used to harvest women’s eggs and of the psychological harm to children. He told of one child of surrogacy saying, “My daddy’s name is ‘donor.'”
“This is just heartbreaking.”
Click here to read the entire article.
Decembers 18, 2015 by Steve Weatherbe, Lifesitenews.com
BRUSSELS, December 18, 2015 (LifeSiteNews.com)
Mexican state votes to ban surrogacy for gay men and foreign people
Tabasco, currently the only state in Mexico allowing surrogacy, has drawn many foreign and gay couples seeking to become parents.
A Mexican state legislature has voted to close the door to foreign couples and gay men looking to have a child by
surrogate. The Gulf coast state of Tabasco is currently the only Mexican state that allows surrogacy, supposedly on a non-commercial basis. It has attracted many foreign and gay couples looking to have children.
But the Tabasco state legislature voted 21-9 on Monday to restrict the option to Mexicans. It also says that couples looking for a child must include a mother aged 25 to 40 who can present proof that she is medically unable to bear a child.
Click here to read the entire article.
Theguardian.com via Associated Press December 15, 2015
Familiarize yourselves with gay adoption statistics and facts before starting your family
While marriage equality is now the national standard, the laws concerning families of same-sex couples are just as muddled as ever, if not more so. Before beginning your family, it’s important to do a little research beforehand on gay adoption statistics and facts.
Gay Adoption Statistics
As many as 6 million children have gay parents, and that number is growing. According to 2010 US Census data, about 20% of same-sex couples are raising children. What does this mean? It means you and your child, current or future, are not alone.
Children of same-sex parents, even high-risk children, fare just as well as children of opposite-sex parents. While this seems like common sense, having scientific evidence confirming that gay parents are indeed just as good as non-gay parents (or also, a lack of scientific evidence that same-sex parents cause harm to children) means that while family laws are lagging behind, they should eventually catch up in giving all families equal rights in adoption. This doesn’t, however, mean you should or need to wait to start your family! Gay adoption statistics aside, here are a few facts and considerations to keep in mind before beginning the family planning or adoption process.
Get gay adoption statistics & facts before family planning
- If you’re planning on adopting, filing a joint petition for adoption is generally the better option, as it automatically recognizes both partners as legal parents. In the state of New York, you need not be married to do this, however this may vary state to state.
- Marriage does not automatically create legal parentage. If you are considering artificial insemination or surrogacy, it’s important that the non biological parent establishes a legal relationship with the child through the co adoption process, even if that parent is named on the birth certificate.
- If your partner already has a child, you will need to petition for a stepparent adoption. In order to do this, the child’s other biological parent has to surrender their legal parental rights to that child.
- It’s important to investigate adoption laws of the state in which you reside, as many states give preference to married couples over unmarried couples when adopting or fostering a child. Adoption laws also vary by county.
- Once a legal relationship has been established between parent and child, this legal relationship will be recognized nationally.
- It is vital that both parents have established a legal relationship with their child in the event that the biological or adopted parent becomes incapacitated or in the event the relationship dissolves. In the event of either of those situations, the non biological or adopted parent risks losing custody rights of the child.
Regardless of how you intend to grow your family (through adoption, foster parenting, surrogacy or artificial insemination), it’s important to hire a family attorney experienced in adoption laws in your state and county to help you navigate the intricacies of the law and to make sure you make it through the process with no complications. For a well-vetted family attorney in New York, call Anthony M. Brown, head of Nontraditional Family and Estates division of Albert W. Chianese & Associations, at 212-953-6447 or email questions to Brown@awclawyer.com.
71% of Americans Approve of Using Surrogates, Surrogate NYC or Anywhere Help Couples!
People tend to say that it is better to adopt than to use surrogacy, but most Americans say it is personally important to have biological, not adopted, children. This calls for the use a surrogate or in New York City, a surrogate nyc when searching google!
What is a Surrogate NYC? Definition Surrogate/Surrogacy: the practice by which a woman helps a couple have a child by carrying an embryo conceived by the couple, and commercial surrogacy is when a surrogate nyc or wherever you live, mothers the baby for money. Surrogacy, though still rare, is increasingly common and laws in many states are having to catch up to the reality of thousands of surrogate births each year. Pennsylvania just ruled that television star Sherri Shepherd is liable for child support payments for a child conceived by a surrogate that she later decided she did not want. In New York, which is one of the states which still completely prohibits commercial surrogacy, is considering legalizing the practice at the urging of gay rights activists.
A large majority of Americans (71%) approve of the practice of surrogacy, and most (57%) also agree with allowing surrogate mothers to charge money for carrying the child. Americans who say that religion is ‘very important’ to them are the only group without majority support for commercial surrogacy, but even they back it 48% to 31%.
Definition Surrogate NYC: Surrogacy is the practice by which a woman helps a couple have a child by carrying an embryo conceived by the couple.
In general, however, Americans tend to say that couples who cannot conceive a child on their own should adopt a child (50%) instead of using a surrogate (15%). Large margins among every group, except black Americans (29% to 34%), say that it is better to adopt than use a surrogate.
When it comes to them personally, however, most Americans say that it would be important for them to have a biological child rather than an adopted one. 27% say that it is ‘very important’ for them to have a biological child, while 31% say that it is ‘somewhat important’. Only 30% say that it is either ‘not very’ or ‘not at all’ important to not have an adopted child.
Click here to read the entire article.
Today.Yougov.com – December 14, 2015
Are second parent adoptions necessary when using a surrogate?
Establishing parental rights when someone has their family with the help of a surrogate (typically gay men looking to start a family or women who cannot carry for medical reasons) is a tricky area of the law and varies greatly state to state. Prior to the Supreme Court’s June decision in Obergefell vs. Hodges granting marriage equality to same-sex couples, second parent adoptions on the part of the non biological parent were almost always required once a couple started a family via surrogacy. Post-Obergefell, second parent adoptions are still the only method for securing unassailable rights between your child and the nonbiological parent. Click here for a video on the ABCs of surrogacy.
Types of Surrogacy
There are two types of surrogacy: traditional and gestational. Traditional surrogacy is when the surrogate mother is also the egg donor and the child is biologically related to her. With a gestational surrogacy, a fertilized egg is implanted into the womb of the surrogate and she is not biologically related to the child. Most surrogates today are gestational surrogates. The establishment of parental rights may be executed, in some cases, by a pre or post birth order in the state where the surrogate lives, but more often by second or step parent adoption in the intended parents’ home state.
Second Parent Adoptions
If your partner had a child with a surrogate before you were married or in a relationship, second parent adoptions are required to obtain legal parental status of that child. If the surrogate is named on the birth certificate of the child, they may need to sign a “consent to adoption” form. If you are just beginning the surrogacy process as a couple, throughout the proceedings, the nonbiological parent may be able to obtain either a pre-birth or post-birth parentage order. Some states do not allow for parentage orders, in which case a second parent adoption would be necessary in the intended parents’ home state to legally obtain those parental rights.
Variations State to State
Keep in mind that laws surrounding surrogacy vary greatly state to state, and surrogacy is even illegal in 5 states, including New York. If you’re a New York resident with your heart set on surrogacy, you will need to find a surrogate mother in a state in which it is legal.
Canadian Surrogacy
Many couples are now looking to our neighbors to the north for surrogacy services. The main difference in the laws regarding surrogacy in Canada is that surrogacy is NOT compensated. Surrogates are reimbursed for their costs, which include such items as lost wages, bed rest, family care, health costs, maternity clothing and other pregnancy related costs. All provinces except Quebec allow for enforcement of these altruistic surrogacy agreements.
The critical consideration is parental establishment after the child is born. In some provinces there is an administrative method of securing parental rights for the non-genetically related parent. While this may be appropriate in Canada, it does not establish legally recognized rights in the U.S. Most provinces will also offer a court declaration of parentage. This is the very least in protection for the non-genetically related parent.
Intended parents should also consider a step or second parent adoption back in the U.S in their home state to secure parental rights for the non-genetically related parent. Adoption orders receive full faith and credit automatically in the U.S. and around the world. Parentage orders may or may not be recognized in countries which have not legalized surrogacy. Also, in the States, with an adoption order, there is no questions as to the rights of a parent created through adoption. Not all states have parental declaration orders and enforcing them may prove extremely costly.
If you and your partner are considering getting an out of state/country surrogate, it’s vital to get professional legal assistance to make sure your parental rights are recognized across all state and international borders.
Anthony M. Brown, head of Family and Estates division of Albert W. Chianese & Associations, is here to help you and your family grow and to make sure all of your parental rights are legally protected. If you have any questions pertaining to legal issues of your parentage, call 212-953-6447 or email and I will do my best to help your family!
Contact Time For Families
Superior Court of PA Rules to Enforce Gestational Surrogacy Contract
In the first ruling of its kind from the Superior Court of Pennsylvania, an appellate level court, the court ruled that a gestational surrogacy contract is enforceable.
This is a great step forward for ethical, regulated surrogacy. It essentially opens the door a bit wider for couples living in states such as New York, who have not yet embraced regulated surrogacy. As more becomes available, I will share. However, if you would like to read the decision, click the link below.
Click here to read the opinion.
November 23, 2015
By Anthony M. Brown – November 21, 2015
What is it about families? Wars have been fought over them. History has been made because of them. Comedians and therapists have made millions talking about them. But when it all boils down, family makes us who we are, whether standing with them or running from them.
My husband Gary’s blind Aunt Elda died about 5 years ago. We got her cancer diagnosis a year or so before her death, and it took a while for it to hit home that there was no successful treatment for her ovarian/GI cancer. She had lived outside Gary’s family for many years, in large part due to her husband Chuck. Chuck was perhaps the most prejudiced, bigoted, intolerant man I had ever met. His willingness to make racist or homophobic statements in my husband’s and my presence was almost as strong as his love for Elda. But he physically removed Elda from the family by moving out of state and at one point actually said to her, “you better hope you die first because your family will never be there for you.” Chuck died first. And we were there for her.
In the perfect ironic twist, Chuck’s mentor and most respected business manager, a man named Ralph Thomas, was also my father’s best friend. He cringed when I would talk about Ralph and his wife in very personal terms as I saw them often before my father died. On Uncle Chuck’s deathbed, everything changed.
Chuck had suffered a series of strokes, the last one leaving him unable to communicate. Gary and I were visiting him in the hospital when I noticed that he was agitated. I knew from my father’s deathbed experience how to shift a person up in the bed by lifting the small blanket placed under the patient and on top of the bed linens. I asked Chuck if he wanted to move up. He blinked his eyes rapidly. Gary and I lifted the blanket, and Chuck, successfully up in the bed. As our eyes met, I could swear I saw him crying and with that, a world of misunderstanding and homophobia flew right out the hospital window.
I don’t know what chuck would have made of the fact that I am a donor dad and have two beautiful little girls with two wonderful women who are their parents or that my husband and I have a son who has a surrogate mom, but both my family and Gary’s family get it. And it couldn’t have happened at a better time.
Gary’s father throughout this time had been enduring a prolonged battle with Parkinson’s disease, which, toward the end of his life, left him mentally aware, yet unable to communicate. If he could have, he would have probably yelled. Italians yell, that’s just the way it is. It took me, a southern WASP, years of therapy to realize that Gary’s screaming had more to do with his heritage than anything I may have done. He learned that from his parents. And while they didn’t really communicate, they yelled, A LOT.
Even with the Parkinson’s, Gary’s parents yelled at each other. It used to bother me, but now I get it. While home over one weekend fairly close to may father-in-law’s death, we watched the ultimate tearjerker movie, The Notebook, based on the novel by Nicholas Sparks. It tells the tale of a man who reads a handwritten story to a woman in a nursing home everyday until she realizes, through her dementia, that it is their love story. For a few minutes, she remembers, then he is a stranger again.
At the conclusion of the movie, Gary’s mom was sitting in Gary’s lap, both crying, and I was holding my father-in-law’s hand, also crying. Tears everywhere. Gary’s parents hugged each other and, in a moment that I will remember for the rest of my life, Gary’s dad, who had not been able to communicate clearly for months, looked at his wife of over 60 years and said, “I didn’t know that this was what you’ve been dealing with. I am sorry.” In that amazing, crystalline moment – we all lost it. Gary’s mom replied that she loved him and that she wanted to take care of him. Gary and I hugged while this exchange occurred knowing that a gift had just been given to everyone in that room.
Enter Michael, Gary’s older brother, who had been watching this whole emotional experience transpire with his then girlfriend, now wife, Xiao from the other room. Xiao is Chinese and had never met a gay person, much less a gay couple, before dating Michael. They had only been dating for a few months when this happened. Michael told me that Xiao had also seen the hug–fest and asked, “How long have Tony and Gary been together?” Michael replied, “almost 20 years.” Xiao said, “Do you think we will be like that in 20 years?” Michael said, “I hope so.”
Regardless what people think about their in-laws, there are lessons to be learned from them, joys and sorrows to be experienced because of them. These are the things that only a family can provide and while many on the less tolerant side of the aisle would either discount or misunderstand my family, no one can change the fact that I am married to a man and that I married into a family that loves and respects both me and my husband. I have children that will learn their values from this amazing family and my children will continue to teach me theirs. It doesn’t get much better than that.
Anthony M. Brown currently heads the Nontraditional Family and Estates Law division of the law firm of Albert W. Chianese & Associates, PC, specializing in estate planning and second and step-parent adoptions. Anthony is the Board Chariman of Men Having Babies, and is the Executive Director of The Wedding Party. He can be reached at: Anthony@timeforfamilies.com.
About MHB
Men Having Babies, Inc. is a nonprofit organization that was spun off in July 2012 from a program that ran at the NYC LGBT Center since 2005. It started as a peer support network for biological gay fathers and fathers-to-be, offering monthly workshops and an annual seminar. Over time, elaborate online resources were developed, the group’s mailing list expanded to about 2000 couples and singles from around the world, and it teamed up with LGBT family associations to develop similar programs in Chicago, San Francisco, LA, Barcelona, Tel Aviv and Brussels.
Our mission includes:
- The provision of educational and practical information to assist gay prospective parents achieve biological parenting.
- Promoting the affordability of surrogacy related services for gay men through financial assistance and the encouragement of transparency and customer feedback.
- Promoting surrogacy practices that minimize the risks and maximize the potential short and long-term benefits to all involved.
- Raising awareness about the potential benefits and meaningful relationships surrogacy arrangements can bring about.
Beyond the seminars and workshops, Men Having Babies runs several programs to promote its educational, advocacy and affordability mission, including:
- The Gay Parenting Financial Assistance Fund – grants, discounts and free services to gay men who require assistance in their quest for parenthood.
- The SurrogacyAdvisor directory of reviews and ratings of agencies and clinics.
- A Surrogacy Speakers Bureau – over 100 surrogacy parents who are willing to speak to the press about their experiences.
- A Community forum on Facebook for gay surrogacy dads, surrogates, and egg donors blogging about their surrogacy and parenting experience.
Assistance in academic studies about gay parenting and surrogacy.
Surrogacy Seminar & Gay Parenting Expo
The 11th Annual NY Men Having Babies 2015
The November 15th Men Having Babies Surrogacy Conference in NY featured several new in-depth panels,
including insurance, budgeting and a broader range of parenting options in the USA, Canada, Mexico and beyond!
For gay men who want to become parents through surrogacy, the Men Having Babies educational conferences are a rare opportunity to get under one roof a wealth of information, advice and access a wide range of relevant service providers from an unbiased non-profit organization. For the first time in NY, we will offer extensive information and a comparative panel about parenting options not just in the USA, but also Canada, Mexico and elsewhere.
The conference is based on a format MHB developed over the last 10 years in NY, San Francisco, Barcelona, Brussels and Tel Aviv. This year we implemented wide programmatic changes based on feedback from attendees and sponsors. The Gay Parenting Expo will be held in a separate space, and several in-depth workshops and panels have been added, and arranged in program tracks that will appeal to prospective parents on different stages of the process.
The conference is co-sponsored and hosted by the LGBTQ Department at the JCC in Manhattan. This centrally located, modern and larger JCC facility allows us to accommodate a growing number of exhibitors and prospective parents. As always, proceeds from sponsorship and exhibiting fees will benefit the Gay Parenting Assistance Program.
Men Having Babies, Inc. is a nonprofit organization that was spun off in July 2012 from a program that ran at the NYC LGBT Center since 2005. It started as a peer support network for biological gay fathers and fathers-to-be, offering monthly workshops and an annual seminar. Over time, elaborate online resources were developed, the group’s mailing list expanded to about 2000 couples and singles from around the world, and it teamed up with LGBT family associations to develop similar programs in Chicago, San Francisco, LA, Barcelona, Tel Aviv and Brussels.
Their mission includes:
- The provision of educational and practical information to assist gay prospective parents achieve biological parenting.
- Promoting the affordability of surrogacy related services for gay men through financial assistance and the encouragement of transparency and customer feedback.
- Promoting surrogacy practices that minimize the risks and maximize the potential short and long-term benefits to all involved.
- Raising awareness about the potential benefits and meaningful relationships surrogacy arrangements can bring about.
Beyond the seminars and workshops, Men Having Babies runs several programs to promote its educational, advocacy and affordability mission, including:
- The Gay Parenting Financial Assistance Fund – grants, discounts and free services to gay men who require assistance in their quest for parenthood.
- The Surrogacy Advisor directory of reviews and ratings of agencies and clinics.
- A Surrogacy Speakers Bureau – over 100 surrogacy parents who are willing to speak to the press about their experiences.
- A Community forum on Facebook for gay surrogacy dads, surrogates, and egg donors blogging about their surrogacy and parenting experience.
- Assistance in academic studies about gay parenting and surrogacy.
Surrogate, Legal Expansion Expected in China
Surrogate businesses in China are expecting a new wave of surrogate legal expansion following the end of the country’s decades-long one-child policy and allow all couples to have a second child, the media reported on Tuesday.
The Communist Party of China’s Central Committee announced on October 29 at the end of a four-day plenary session in Beijing that the country will ease its family planning policy and allow all couples to have two children in order to help deal with the aging population.
A week after the announcement, several surrogacy agencies said there has been an increase in the number of people reaching out to them about having a second child through a surrogate mother, the Global Times reported.
Following second child policy, surrogate legal expansion in China’s surrogacy sector expected
“There are three types of customers; the first type is those who are too old to risk giving birth to a child or due to the fact that the eggs of those aged over 35 have a bigger chance of having chromosomal abnormalities. The second type is those who have problems with the womb,” said an official from a Shanghai surrogacy agency.
“The third type is those who want to decide the gender of the embryo,” Li said.
Surrogacy was officially banned in China after a ruling in 2001 that no medical organisations or personnel would be allowed to be involved in any form of surrogacy. Violators faced a fine of up to 30,000 yuan ($4,730) and had to bear criminal responsibility.
Click here to read the entire article.
Daijiworld.com, November 5, 2015