Unmarried Estate Planning Information

While America has transformed in its understanding of marriage equality over the last five years, unmarried estate planning is still vital for those who, by choice, remain unmarried.

Unmarried estate planning was the bulk of my practice prior to marriage equality. In 2010, I published a law review article on estate planning for unmarried couples discussing just this material.  Finding the loopholes that would provide protection for unmarried couples is an art form and many today who are unmarried by choice, must know these rules and regulations that may negatively affect them without proper planning.

What unmarried couples must know – The law protects married couples in a way that is truly unique.  While some argue against making marriage the benchmark for protection, it nevertheless remains the standard in America.  Without proper planning, a surviving unmarried partner can face a number of pitfalls that could have been prevented with careful planning.  The main categories of awareness center on death, property, health care and asset transfer.tips for estate planning

Death – When an unmarried person dies, their Will is the operative document for distribution of assets upon their death.  If that unmarried person dies without a Will, the state in which they live will decide through the law of intestacy who receives from their estate.  Blood relatives are given priority.  In many states, New York included, if an unmarried person dies with a Will, their closest living legal relatives are also required to consent to the probate of the decedent’s Will.  The emotional and financial costs of these notification provisions can run high depending on the legal family of the decedent.

To best prepare for these issues, maximize your non-probate assets, or assets that are titled solely in the name of the one unmarried partner.   Create “POD,” or payable on death, designations for your bank accounts so they don’t have to go through probate.  Place real property titled in one unmarried partner’s name into a trust, which removes it from probate.  Also, verify all of your non-probate asset designations, such as life insurance beneficiaries, IRA beneficiaries and 401(k) beneficiaries.  These assets will pass directly to whomever you designate, as long as you make a designation.  If you do not, those assets pass into your estate and must go through the probate process.

Real property – You cannot discuss unmarried estate planning without talking about real property ownership.  If there is one legal owner of a house or apartment, then upon death the property will pass either through the Will of the decedent unmarried partner, or through a trust if they were savvy enough to create one.  If you purchase the property together, make sure to hold the title as Joint Tenants With Right of Survivorship.  This will ensure that the property passes to the surviving joint owner without having to go through a probate or an administration proceeding to pass to the surviving partner.

Health Care – One of the most important aspects of unmarried estate planning is addressing one another’s health care needs.  Each partner should have a carefully crafted Medical Power of Attorney, or Health Care Proxy, and a Living Will.  These documents will ensure that your individual wishes are met given an end of life situation and that your partner will make the medical decisions necessary if you cannot.

Asset Transfer – One of the real benefits of marriage is the unlimited transfer of assets between spouses, both during life and after death.  If an unmarried partner wanted to add their partner’s name to the deed of a home or apartment, they would have to file a gift tax return for half the value of the property.  If, however, they were married and did the same transaction, no gift tax return would be required.  Likewise, gifting of over $14,000.00 to any one person who is not your spouse in a calendar year also requires the filing of a gift tax return.

For more information about unmarried estate planning, please visit www.timeforfamilies.com or email me at Anthony@timeforfamilies.com.

The Most Detailed Map of Same-sex Married Couples in America

More than three years after a Supreme Court decision gave federal recognition to same-sex marriages performed in states that allowed them, the demographics of same-sex married couples largely remain a mystery.

In fact, no one has a definitive count of same-sex married couples in the United States.

One reason it’s hard to get a fix on the marriages is that detailed marriage records are not tracked at the federal level. They’re managed by counties and states, which report the count of marriages and not much else. The Census Bureau isn’t always a lot of help either. Methodological problems like sample size and false positives have long plagued census estimates of this relatively small group.

But a new research paper published by the Treasury Department on Monday has found an interesting way around these problems: tax records.marriage equality

By linking the tax returns of same-sex couples who filed jointly in 2014 with their Social Security records, researchers are able to give us the most accurate picture of same-sex marriages to date. And their estimate is this: In 2014 there were 183,280. same-sex marriages in America, roughly a third of 1 percent of all marriages.

Of course, implicit in this estimate is the assumption that all married couples file their returns jointly. But as a proxy for that, it’s pretty good. The Treasury Department estimates that 97.5 percent of married couples file joint returns.

One highlight of the study: Pretax household income of same-sex married couples is higher than that of heterosexual married couples. Most of that is driven by the average earnings of male same-sex couples: $176,000. On average, they make $52,000 more than married lesbian couples and $63,000 more than married straight couples.

Lee Badgett, an economics professor at the University of Massachusetts-Amherst, said one reason is the gender pay gap. The math here is simple — for heterosexual couples, the gender pay gap affects one partner. For same-sex female couples, the gender pay gap affects both partners.

But that doesn’t explain why same-sex female married couples earn more than heterosexual married couples, over all. The other key component is geography. The tax data shows same-sex married couples clustering along the coasts, and in urban pockets across the United States. These are regions that also tend to have higher wages. In fact, heterosexual couples actually earn more than same-sex female ones when you compare married couples who live in the same three-digit ZIP code region.

Child care plays a huge role as well. Same-sex female couples are four times more likely to have children than same-sex male couples. That means that many women will have to make tough trade-offs between career and family. Combine that with the likelihood of lower pay to begin with and you start to understand why the income differences are so large.

New York Times, September 12, 2016 by Quoctrung Bui

Click here to read the entire article.

New York Family Law, Matter of Brooke S.B.

Late August 2016 marked a turning point for New York family law and how it defines parents, particularly lesbian parents.

What the court decided – Up until this decision, many lesbian parents who had not adopted the biological children or their partners or spouses were considered legal strangers to the children that many of them had raised since birth.  Under previous New York family law, these non-biological and non-adoptive parents could not seek the legal system’s assistance in gaining custody, or even visitation, to the children who they helped to raise.

All that changed last month with a court case known as In the Matter of Brooke S.B. v. Elizabeth A.  C.C.  In this landmark decision, the court overturned previous New York precedent that had torn families apart for decades and ruled that non-biological and non-adoptive parents did have standing to sue for custody and visitation in the New York family court system.  This brings New York family law in line with many other states which recognize “de facto” parents for the purpose of custody and visitation and prioritizes the best interests of the child in making these critical decisions.remarkable parenting

What this decision does not address? – The court was careful to base its decision on the specific facts of this case, which included one very important element: the fact that the couple agreed in advance to the conception of the child.  What this means is that if a lesbian couple has children but the non-biological or non-adoptive parent entered the picture after the conception of the child, then she would not fall under the definition of a “de facto” parent as stated in this case.  Also, if the non-biological, non-adoptive parent did not consent to the conception of the child by clear and convincing evidence, she would be forestalled from seeking custody or visitation.

It is also critical to note that the court did not explicitly state that the non-biological, non-adoption mother was a legal parent of a child born to her spouse or partner for all purposes, just that she could seek custody and visitation if she had consented to the conception.  This case also did not explicitly address the notion of the marital presumption of parentage, which a mid-level appellate court has held not to apply to same-sex couples.  This concept holds that the spouse of a married woman is automatically considered the legal parent of any child she gives birth to.

Does this mean I do not have to adopt my partner or spouse’s child? – I do not believe that the court meant for this decision to be a substitute for second or step adoption.  Adoption is the one clear pathway to legal parentage and parentage includes much more that custody and visitation.  Adoption also ensures that a parent’s relationship to their child would be respected across the country and around the world.

For instance, if you are the non-biological, non-adoptive parent and you have a better health care plan at work, this decision would not mandate that an employer must put the child on your health insurance. Second or step parent adoption would, however, ensure that that the child would be protected in this situation.

Brooke S.B. was also silent on whether a legal relationship between a non-biological or non-adoptive mother would be recognized for the purposes of estate administration. This means if a legal parent dies without a Will, their children automatically share in that parent’s estate if they are married, or inherit the estate completely if the decedent spouse is not married.  Finally, the legal and emotional statement of securing your family through adoption resonates beyond just the family unit.  It establishes your family in the community, in your child’s educational institutions and, most importantly, in the eyes of the children with whom you are creating a legal family.

Brooke S.B. also fails to address how gay men can protect their families through surrogacy.  Adoption is still the best way in New York to create legal families established through surrogacy.

Brooke S.B. will undoubtedly protect many families from the horror of being torn apart because one parent was not recognized as a real parent. For that, New York family laws will be better and stronger for all families.  But this decision is not all-encompassing and when it comes to the protection of your family, the establishment of comprehensive legal parentage by a non-biological parent is the ultimate goal.  To accomplish that, a second or step-parent adoption is essential.

For more information about New York family law and the ramifications of the Brooke S.B. decision, contact Anthony Brown at Anthony@timeforfamilies.com or visit www.timeforfamilies.com today.

These Two Dads Almost Lost Their Son In A Bizarre Surrogacy Case

Jay Timmons and Rick Olson thought they’d have no legal trouble using a surrogate to birth their son. Then a rogue judge in Wisconsin pulled them into an 11-month legal battle.

Jay Timmons and Rick Olson, a married gay couple from Virginia, didn’t think they’d have any trouble becoming the legal parents of the baby boy their surrogate, a Wisconsin woman, delivered for them last year.

They had gotten the frozen embryo that became their son as a gift from straight friends whose in vitro fertilization created more embryos than they could use. They had chosen a Wisconsin surrogate specifically because the state’s Supreme Court had upheld surrogacy, and other same-sex couples had had smooth sailing there. And by just about any measure, the two intended fathers were prime parent material: They both had good jobs, they had been together for 25 years, and they were already raising two daughters from previous surrogacies.Timmons

But their careful plans went awry the month before their son, Jacob, was born, when their effort to be named his legal parents landed before a conservative judge who saw surrogacy as a form of human trafficking. Over the next 11 months, the couple’s bizarre legal battle cost more than $400,000 and kept them in constant terror of losing their son.

“We didn’t have one night’s peace,’’ Timmons, 54, a conservative Christian and president of the National Association of Manufacturers, told BuzzFeed News. “We’d wake up absolutely panicked, around 2 in the morning, and talk about the fact that we didn’t know what was going to happen.”

The couple took out second and third mortgages to cover the legal fees, and Olson, 49, quit his job as a federal lobbyist for Capital One to manage the proceedings.

Over the last couple of years, a handful of high-profile surrogacy lawsuits have cropped up in U.S. courts. In California, a surrogate named Melissa Cook refused a man’s wishes to abort one of the triplets she was carrying for him. And in a Pennsylvania, The View co-host Sherri Shepherd tried, unsuccessfully, to pull out of a contract with a pregnant surrogate after splitting up with her husband.

But the Wisconsin case is likely unprecedented, legal experts say, in that the surrogate, her husband, and the intended parents were all happy with their arrangement. Only the judge was not.

The case was a “judicial hijacking,” Melissa Brisman, a surrogacy lawyer in New Jersey, told BuzzFeed News. “We’re at a time when a lot of people are still very committed to the idea that family values means straight married couples who have sex are the only ones who should have babies.”

In June the couple won the case, thanks in large part to the judge’s abrupt resignation. Although the proceedings had played out in closed court, once it was over, supporters of Timmons and Olson provided copies of court transcripts, briefs, and filings to BuzzFeed News. And although the case is certainly an anomaly among the thousands of surrogacy arrangements made in the US every year, it underscores how, in certain areas of the country, surrogacy has become a flashpoint for cultural debates about same-sex marriage, reproductive rights, and the booming fertility industry.

by Tamar Lewin, buzzfeed.com

Click here to read the entire article.

New York state court rules non-biological, non-adoptive parents can seek custody, visitation if couple breaks up

ALBANY — In a major ruling for same-sex and other non-traditional couples, the state’s top court Tuesday ruled that non-biological or adoptive parents can seek visitation and custody if a couple breaks up.

Until now, the courts have held that non-biological and non-adoptive parents have no legal standing when it comes to parenting.

But the Court of Appeals changed that in a landmark ruling on Tuesday morning, overturning its own 1991 decision known as Alison D. v. Virginia M. that restricted the definition of a parent to someone with biological or adoptive connections.

lesbian family law

In the new decision, the court noted the 1991 ruling came 20 years before New York allowed gay couples to wed.

“We agree that, in light of more recently delineated legal principles, the definition of ‘parent’ established by this Court 25 years ago in Alison D. has become unworkable when applied to increasingly varied familial relationships,” Judge Sheila Abdus-Salaam wrote in the decision.

“Accordingly, today, we overrule Alison D. and hold that where a partner shows by clear and convincing evidence that the parties agreed to conceive a child and to raise the child together, the non-biological, non-adoptive partner has standing to seek visitation and custody.”

While acknowledging it’s rare for the court to change one of its previous decisions, the judges found that the 1991 Court of Appeals ruling limiting the legal definition of parents to those with a biological or adoptive relationship “has inflicted disproportionate hardship on the growing number of nontraditional families across our State.”

The decision does not guarantee that someone with no biological or adoptive link to a child can win visitation. That ultimately will be decided on a case-by-case basis by the courts based on what is determined to be in the best interest of the child.

by Kenneth Lovett, New York Daily News, August 30, 2016

Click here to read the entire article,.

Finding a Surrogate Mother – And Your Future

Finding a surrogate mother is the first step for couples who want to have a biologically related family through surrogacy.

Finding a surrogate mother is also one of the most profound journeys that a couple can embark upon. Before we look at the specifics of who makes a good surrogate mother and what red flags to look for, we need to understand the processes that require finding a surrogate mother.New York surrogacy

What is surrogacy? – There are essentially two types of surrogacy, traditional and gestational, and two ways to go about it, independent surrogacy and agency surrogacy.  Traditional surrogacy is when the woman who provides the egg is also the surrogate mother.  She has a biological relationship to the child she is bearing for the intended parents (IPs – the people who will be the legal parents of the child born through surrogacy).  Gestational surrogacy involves a separate egg donor who provides the egg through a clinic to the gestational surrogate mother.  The egg is implanted via in vitro fertilization and the surrogate mother does not have a biological relationship with the child she is bearing.

Independent surrogacy requires the intended parents to coordinate all aspects of the surrogacy journey. These aspects include:

  • Finding a surrogate mother and providing for compensation and expenses
  • Finding an egg donor
  • Locating and paying the bills of the clinic that will perform the IVF
  • Locating and paying for attorneys to:
    • Draft donor and surrogate agreements
    • Represent the egg donor, if necessary
    • Represent the surrogate mother
    • Establish parentage for the IPS
  • Providing support to all parties, psychological, emotional and financial

With agency surrogacy, the surrogacy agency, full-service or otherwise, takes on some or all of the tasks listed above. The fees for agency surrogacy are increased due to this extra work; however, some people prefer to have the work handled by professionals with experience in this ever changing area of law.

What to look for in a surrogate mother – Finding a surrogate mother that is right for your family is crucial to a successful and happy pregnancy and birth experience.  Most agencies will only consider candidates for surrogate motherhood who are married and have already had at least one child.  This should be your baseline as well if you are attempting independent surrogacy.  Married surrogates with their own children are preferred because they have a built in support system for the pregnancy and they have had the experience of giving birth.  You do not want your surrogate to have her first birth experience with a child that she will not be raising.

Other questions to ask when finding a surrogate mother are:

  • Why do you want to be a surrogate mother?
  • Do you know anyone who is, or has been, a surrogate mother?
  • How do you feel about being compensated?
  • Do you have a support system in place, i.e. are you comfortable sharing with your friends and family that you are being a surrogate mother?
  • How will you explain the child born through surrogacy to your children?

There is no “right” or “wrong” answer to these questions. They are designed to spark conversations that will allow you as the IPs to get a feel for the surrogate mother’s motivations and capability to carry someone else’s child. It will also give her an insight into who you, as IPs, are and if she wants to work with you. This unique relationship is a two-way street and it is critical to remember that your surrogate mother is not your employee, she is helping you have a family.

Pay attention to red flags – If any of the answers you get to the questions above cause you concern, please pay attention to that.  If you sense that financial gain is the only motivator for your surrogate mother, she probably is not the right person to carry your child.  If she has no support system to help her through the process, she would probably not be the best choice.

Finding a surrogate mother is one of the most important tasks that IPs face on their journey toward family. I strongly suggest taking a look at the Men Having Babies  Framework for Ethical Surrogacy for Intended Parents.  It was created with the input of seasoned surrogate mothers, to give IPs their own list of best practices to ensure that they, and their surrogate mother, are prepared for the journey ahead.  If you have any questions about this, or anything else surrogacy related, please contact me at Anthony@timeforfamilies.com.

India proposes to ban commercial surrogacy

Proposed bill to prohibit homosexuals, unmarried couples and foreigners from hiring Indian women to have a baby.

India’s government has unveiled a draft law to ban commercial surrogacy, a move that would block homosexuals, single parents, live-in partners and foreign couples from hiring Indian women to have a baby.

Sushma Swaraj, India’s foreign minister, said on Wednesday the new law would prohibit prospective gay parents as homosexuality went against the country’s values.

gay surrogacy

“We do not recognise live-in and homosexual relationships … this is against our ethos,” the Indian Express newspaper quoted Swaraj, a member of the Hindu nationalist Bharatiya Janata Party, as saying.

In 2013, India’s Supreme Court reversed a 2009 high court decision to decriminalise homosexuality. According to Article 377 of the Indian penal code, homosexuality is a crime, which can attract punishment up to 10 years in prison.

Swaraj also said that foreigners, including non-resident Indians (NRIs) and persons of Indian origin (PIOs) were barred from opting for surrogacy as “divorces are very common in foreign countries”.

Only infertile couples who have been married for at least five years could seek a surrogate, who must be a close relative.

“There will be a complete ban on commercial surrogacy,” Swaraj said.

“Childless couples, who are medically unfit to have children, can take help from a close relative, in what is an altruistic surrogacy.”

She said the ban would be introduced 10 months after the bill, which will now go to parliament for approval, to allow pregnant women already in arrangements with couples time to give birth.

Some 2,000 infertile couples hire the wombs of Indian women to carry their embryos through to birth every year, according to the government.

Divided opinions surfaced on Indian social media, with tweets criticising as well as backing the proposed bill.

Aljazeera.com, August 25, 2016

Click here to read the entire article.

Considering Known Sperm Donors

Lesbian couples are choosing known sperm donors in increasing numbers for a variety of very important reasons. Your choice now can make a big difference in your child’s life.

Known sperm donors are a much more viable option for lesbian couples today than they have ever been.  What greater decision can there be than the biological parent of your child? Choosing an anonymous sperm donor used to be the norm.  There are many reasons why known sperm donors are becoming the preference for lesbian couples and this article explores some of the most important ones.  But first, make sure you know the law.

One of the most cited reasons for choosing known sperm donors is to have a greater insight into the biology of your child. Having a known sperm donor’s medical history can be critical for mothers who have medical or genetic issues that they must consider before having a child.  An anonymous sperm donor file will provide some medical information, but a known donor can share his family medical history, which may be crucial for the health of your child.remarkable parenting

While medical considerations are one of the top reasons for having a known donor, knowing the emotional and social character of the donor is also an often overlooked consideration in many people’s path to parenthood.  No anonymous donor profile can show the complete picture of the person who may be the biological father of your child.

Legal considerations are also important reasons to choose between anonymous donors and known sperm donors. Anonymous donors surrender their parental rights to any children born with their genetic material upon deposit to a sperm bank or fertility clinic.  When you choose an anonymous donor, they may offer the option of allowing the child to contact them at age 18, but there is no question as to their lack of parental rights to that child.

Known sperm donors in many states, New York included, must surrender their parental rights to a child born with their genetic material after the birth of that child.  And if the mother is a single parent by choice, the known donor in many states may not surrender their parental rights at all.

In New York, as in most states, the best interest of a child is considered when allowing a genetic parent surrender their parental rights. If a known donor is surrendering his parental rights to the spouse or partner of the mother, then the court will authorize that surrender.  If, however, there is no other parent who will be assuming parental rights, the known donor cannot surrender their parental rights and will be able to sue for custody and visitation.  The mother will also be able to sue that known donor for child support.  This is the most important reason why single mothers by choice should use an anonymous donor.

One reason why lesbian moms are choosing known sperm donors is for the emotional health of their children later in life. Many studies show that the more a child knows about their biological background, be they adopted, a child through surrogacy or through known or anonymous sperm donation, the better adjusted they are as adults.  These same studies also show high satisfaction levels in the mothers who have chosen known sperm donors.

One other consideration in choosing a known sperm donor is where they live. If you envision a known donor as a parental figure in your child’s life with a more active role, the donor must be geographically able to fill that role.

Finally, many mothers choose between known and anonymous donors because of the degree of control they wish to have over their family formation. Choosing a known donor can be tricky and many mothers prefer to maintain the kind of parental control over their family that can only be experienced with an anonymous donor.

Whether you are considering known sperm donors to help you create your family or whether anonymous donors are right for you, the most important part of this decision is that you and your spouse or partner are comfortable with it and on the same page. And please make sure you know the law! For more information about known sperm donation and the legalities surrounding our families, contact Anthony@timeforfamilies.com or visit www.timeforfamilies.com today.

Lesbian Couple Sue Over New Jersey Rules for Fertility Treatment

Five years ago, Erin and Marianne Krupa chose to start a family. They moved to Montclair, N.J., from a more conservative environment in North Carolina, and decided that Erin would carry their first child.

Erin Krupa remembered her fertility doctor looking her in the eye and promising to help her become pregnant.

But there were complications. At an appointment with her doctor in 2013, Ms. Krupa, then 33, learned that she had benign cysts on her uterus and Stage 3 endometriosis, in which the tissue that normally lines the inside of the uterus grows outside. That meant she was infertile.Donor

Despite her doctor’s assurances that insurance would pay for fertility treatment, Ms. Krupa’s provider, Horizon Blue Cross Blue Shield, denied coverage. The company cited a state insurance mandate from 2001 that required most women under 35 — no matter their sexual orientation — to demonstrate their infertility through “two years of unprotected sexual intercourse.”

Now the Krupas, along with two other women, are suing the commissioner of the New Jersey Department of Banking and Insurance, claiming the mandate discriminates against their sexual orientation — essentially forcing infertile homosexual women to pay for costly procedures to try to become pregnant.

“These women are already going through what can be a difficult experience, and they have the added stress of affording it financially and the added insult of being treated like a second-class citizen,” said Grace Cretcher, a lawyer for the plaintiffs.

The state mandate requires most major insurance companies to cover medically necessary treatments for infertile clients. It defines infertility as the inability to impregnate another person, the inability to carry a pregnancy to live birth or the inability to conceive after one or two years of unprotected sex, depending on the woman’s age.

New York Times, August 8, 2016 by Megan Jula

Click here to read the entire article.

Supreme Court Blocks Order Allowing Transgender Student Restroom Choice

WASHINGTON — The Supreme Court on Wednesday temporarily blocked a court order that had allowed a transgender boy to use the boys’ bathroom in a Virginia high school.

The vote was 5 to 3, with Justice Stephen G. Breyer joining the court’s more conservative members “as a courtesy.” He said that this would preserve the status quo until the court decided whether to hear the case. Justices Ruth Bader Ginsburg, Sonia Sotomayor and Elena Kagan dissented.

The court’s order has no effect on any other case.

new york probate process

The gavel of a judge in court

The move came amid a national debate over transgender rights. A North Carolina law that requires transgender people to use bathrooms in government buildings that correspond with the gender listed on their birth certificates has drawn protests, boycotts and lawsuits. A directive from the Obama administration threatening schools with the loss of federal money for discrimination based on gender identity has been challenged in court by more than 20 states.

The case in the Supreme Court concerns Gavin Grimm, who was born female but identifies as a male and will soon start his senior year at Gloucester High School in southeastern Virginia. For a time, school administrators allowed Mr. Grimm to use the boys’ bathroom, but the local school board adopted a policy that required students to use the bathrooms and locker rooms for their “corresponding biological genders.” The board added that “students with gender identity issues” would be allowed to use private bathrooms.