How to teach … LGBT history month

February is LGBT history month – the annual celebration of lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender – LGBT Families and people and the impact they have on the world. It’s a topic that staff and students can find difficult to discuss; a recent report found that more than half of England’s teachers feel there is “a reluctance to confront the issue of same-sex relationships and a clear heterosexist assumption”

This makes LGBT history month all the more important. The theme for this year is religion, belief and philosophy, and how all three intertwine in the experience of LGBT families and people. This activity pack from the Proud Trust offers a series of lesson plans and resources on the topic, which can be adapted for students of all ages. Here are some other ways to explore the subject with your classes.
LGBT Families

Primary

Addressing feelings of “otherness” is key in discussions of LGBT rights. This poster from Stonewall gives your class a visual representation of the many different kinds of family set-up. The simple animated images show a variety of families, along with the slogan “Different Families, Same Love”.

The charity has also put together a film called FREE, which follows the lives of four children as they experience family and friendship, and work out what it means to be yourself (including the quote: “when you’re strong enough to be yourself, you free everyone”). The accompanying activity pack includes tasks that ask pupils to write a letter, song or poem and analyse stereotypical statements about gender and identity, such as “girls should play with dolls”.

The Guardian
February 18, 2016
 Click here to read the entire article.
in Education / In the News / Parenting  by Anthony Brown 0 comments

Same-Sex Parents (and Our Kids) Speak Out

Same-sex relationship recognition is up for a vote in both Italy and Switzerland in the coming weeks—and same-sex parents are, not surprisingly, helping to push for equality. And in Australia, one 11-year-old girl is speaking out for her family.

Italy’s civil union bill comes up for a vote next Tuesday, and includes a provision that would allow for second-parent (or stepchild) adoptions. Martina and Julia, a same-sex parents of an infant live in Rome and were profiled in Vanity Fair Italy about their family. They discuss the 13 attempts in two countries (Denmark and England) to create their son, the community they found through the national organization for LGBT parents, Famiglie Arcobaleno (Rainbow Families), how they have tried to legally protect their family, and their response to those who oppose equality for families like theirs. (Google Translate does a decent, though not perfect, job for those who don’t read Italian.)

mombian

The New York Times, in its coverage of the Italian civil union debate, also led with a parenting story, that of Dario De Gregorio and Andrea Rubera. The men married in Canada, became parents of three children, then returned to their native Italy where their relationship was not recognized and custody of their children was divided because they could not adopt each other’s biological kids. The stepchild adoption provision of the civil union bill, however, may be “too far-reaching” for some legislators, the NYT reports.

CNN followed the NYT and a few days later dug further into De Gregorio and Rubera’s story in “Gay dads hope Italy approves law on same-sex civil unions and parenthood.” Rubera told CNN that opponents of civil unions say “You stole your kids, you stole your kids from their mother. You denied to your kids to have a mother, you bought your kids from the supermarket like watermelons.” He adds, “It’s difficult to imagine if you aren’t living in Italy … how strong and awful the public debate about civil unions has become.”

Click here to read the entire article.

Mombian.com, January 29, 2016

in International / Parenting / Recently Added  by Anthony Brown 0 comments

Estate Planning for Same Sex Couples: 3 Key Issues to Consider

In the last few years, the law in the US has shifted in hugely significant ways for same sex couples and as a result, estate planning for same sex couples is at the forefront of people’s minds more than ever.

Whether the partners are married, in a domestic partnership or are together without legal recognition, there is a myriad of considerations to take into account with regards to division of the estate in the case of one partner’s death. Up to 80% of people are estimated to die without leaving a will, meaning that the division of anything they leave behind is determined by the State. Estate Planning for Same Sex Couples is imperative.  Although it may not be something that most people want to think about, in the long term it is essential to have put in place solid and legally sound estate plans to ensure that your loved ones are properly taken care of and that your possessions are divided up in the way that you want them; not at the dictates of a impersonal statute. The following are a few key issues that you and your partner will want to discuss and decide on so that, should the unexpected happen, your energies will be focused in the right place and not dealing with legal battles.

  1. End of Life Health Care Arrangements

When considering estate planning for same sex couples, it is a necessity that one considers the possibility of illness or incapacitation before their death, and the legal implications of such a health event. There are two aspects to a ‘health care directive’- the Power of Attorney for Healthcare, (in which you state the name of the person whom you wish to take responsibility for decisions regarding your healthcare if you cannot) and the Living Will, in which you can state the type of care you do or do not want if you have a terminal illness. Be sure to take into account the financial implications of healthcare and appoint your partner financial power of attorney if appropriate, otherwise blood relatives will be given priority over unmarried partners. See this article for more detailed information on healthcare arrangements.

Estate Planning For Same Sex Couples

  1. Final arrangements

In the worst case scenario, the last thing a bereaved partner would want is to have to make choices about funerals, life celebrations or goodbye ceremonies when they don’t know exactly what their loved one would have wanted. It is generally better to make all arrangements in this regard prior to needing them, and there are several aspects that must be thought of and taken into account. These include:

  • Disposition of remains (traditional funeral, cremation, a several day wake or celebration of life, for example)
  • Any particulars of the event, for example favourite poems or songs
  • Your thoughts on embalming
  • Whether you would like flowers or donations to charity in your memory
  • Whether you need a casket or urn and what aesthetic qualities you would like them to have
  • Whether you would need a headstone, and your thoughts on the physical appearance of it
  • How and when you would like to pay for your arrangements

The ‘final arrangements’ document on which your requests will be recorded witnessed and notarized and it can be of assistance to your partner when it comes to planning goodbyes, especially if there is family involved who may want to take things another way due to cultural or religious affiliations. Some States only allow spouses or immediate families to claim the body and make funeral arrangements, so if you are not married then it is worth making your wishes known to your family and seeking further legal advice, as there have been cases where the wishes of the family overrides those of the non-married partner.

 

  1. When thinking about estate planning for same sex couples it is natural to immediately want to consider the custodian and guardianship arrangements for children that would be enacted upon the death of one of the partners. For non-married same sex couples, this is of the utmost importance. Even if you and your partner went through surrogacy or IVF as life partners, only the legal parent of the child has parental rights and responsibilities unless the non-biological parent has adopted the child. Without proper planning the worst case scenario is a child who ends up in an estranged family member’s care because their mom or dad wasn’t their legal adoptive or biological parent. Time For Families provides information on second parent and step parent adoption and can give you all the information you need to ensure that your family is kept together when they need it the most.

Estate planning for same sex couples is something that many people shy away from- nobody wants to think about the sadness associated with a loved one’s death or the potential complications of the arrangements that follow. However, for peace of mind for the partners in a relationship, their children and their families, taking estate planning for same sex couples seriously is a sensible decision and one that lawyers are becoming increasingly skilled in. For more information on estate planning for same sex couples, contact Anthony M. Brown at Time for Families and speak to a specialist family lawyer to secure your and your family’s future.

in Estate Planning / Parenting / Recently Added  by Anthony Brown 0 comments

Open Adoption: Not So Simple Math

Open Adoption: Not So Simple Math

I WANTED my son to become the kind of person who appreciates the beauty of the world around him, so I smiled when, at 6, he asked to borrow my camera in case he saw “something beautiful.”

Open AdoptionWe were taking a walk in the woods outside Boston, and following behind him I was surprised by how much he moved like his father. We spent that afternoon showing each other icicles and hollow trees, breaking frozen patterns in the river ice, inching too close to the water to get a better view of the bridge above.

When we arrived home, Ben said that the reason he wanted to go for a walk was to spend time with me. It had been three months since I last saw him. I smiled sheepishly and stepped into the living room, where the woman who had adopted him six years earlier sat reading the newspaper.

Is open adoption the next big thing?

It is a far cry from the moment he was born, when my 23-year-old body seemed to know exactly what to do, when I suddenly and surprisingly wanted nothing more than to admire him nursing at my breast. When, after a drugless labor, my surging hormones helped me to forget that I was a college student, that I lived in Cincinnati, that I was passionate about architecture. During those days I was roused by the slightest sound of his lips smacking, innocent newborn desire that offered my deepest fulfillment.

In the months before I gave birth, when my boyfriend and I were just getting to know the couple we had chosen, I was able to comprehend the coming exchange only on the most theoretical of levels, but it seemed like gentle math: Girl with child she can’t keep plus woman who wants but can’t have child; balance the equation, and both parties become whole again.

During those months, my son’s mother, Holly, observed that birth mothers have to accomplish in one day the monumental task of letting go that most parents have 18 years to figure out. Days after his birth, when I struggled with letting go, Holly sat with me and cried — for the children she never got to have, for the fact the adoption would bring her joy while causing me pain, and out of fear that she had already grown to love a child I might not give her.

I decided to let her take him for a night, to see if I could handle it. She drove him to Dayton, Ohio, where she was staying with family, then called and asked: “Do you want him back? I’ll bring him right now.”

UPDATED: You can now listen to our Modern Love podcast, featuring the actress Sarah Paulson reading this column and a conversation with the writer. Look for the “play” button below.

Click here to read the entire article.

New York Times – Modern Love by Amy Seek April, 2007

in Adoption / Parenting / Personal Stories / Recently Added  by admin 0 comments

Gay Estate Planning: What You Need To Know

Gay Estate Planning – With an estimated 8 million adults within the USA identifying as gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender, it is imperative that the facts are clear and that there is help and assistance available when considering the issue of gay estate planning.

Since the Supreme Court’s Ruling to make marriage legal for everyone across the whole of America, there has been an impact on the legislation regarding gay estate planning, which is quickly turning into traditional estate planning. Knowing exactly where you stand legally is of the utmost importance to you and your loved ones in case of the unexpected and at this point in time, there are several beneficial legal changes for same sex couples that you can use when thinking about your end-of-life plans and the arrangements for the division of your assets after- (Click here for a list of necessary documents) be smart and follow these guidelines to help you in your gay estate planning:

Maximize Your Company Retirement Plans

When one spouse dies, the other is now legally entitled to be the sole primary beneficiary of any qualified retirement plan (federal law states that this may be a 401(k); defined-contribution plan; defined benefit plan or Keogh plan for self-employed people, but not an IRA). They may therefore roll over the remaining plan to their own without having to take the minimum or lump-sum distributions until the year that the surviving spouse would usually take them (age 70.5 years in most cases). You now need your spouse’s written permission in order to name anyone else as a beneficiary for ERISA qualified retirement plans. Prior to retirement, employer benefits previously only available to heterosexual couples are now available to all married couples, and same-sex couples looking at gay estate planning should ensure that they are receiving the spousal benefits they are entitled to. To be on the safe side, always name your spouse as your primary beneficiary on your company’s beneficiary designation forms.

Ensure Your Parental Rights

Although a lot of the law has changed as a consequence of the Obergefell marriage ruling, one area where there is still contention is child guardianship. Depending on the State you reside in, you may not be regarded as the legal parent of a child even if you were married to their biological or adoptive parent. Second parent or step parent adoption is highly recommended in these cases to ensure the emotional, legal and financial security of the child and the upholding of the parental rights of the surviving spouse. Anthony Brown at Time For Families specialises in gay estate planning and family law and can help with any questions or concerns you may have about the legality of your parental status.

Take Advantage of Portability

Forbes goes into detail about this legal quirk along with ‘gift splitting’ in this article that was written after the Supreme Court declared the same-sex marriage ban unconstitutional:

This is the ability of widows and widowers to add the unused estate tax exclusion (now $5.43 million) of the spouse who died most recently to their own. The concept was introduced by the 2010 tax law (although the term was invented by tax experts and does not appear in the legislation). Portability was made permanent by the 2012 tax law.

To take advantage of portability, the executor handling the estate of the spouse who died will need to transfer the unused exclusion to the survivor, who can then use it to make lifetime gifts or pass assets through his or her estate. The prerequisite is filing an estate tax return when the first spouse dies, even if no tax is owed. This return is due nine months after death with a six-month extension allowed. If the executor doesn’t file the return or misses the deadline, the spouse loses the right to portability. (See this post, “The Deadline Every Married Person (And Financial Advisor) Needs To Know About.”)
gay estate planning, family estate planning, estate planning NY

Use Your Gift-Splitting Rights

 Currently, you can give up to $14,000 each year to as many recipients as you would like without incurring gift tax. Spouses can combine this annual exclusion–a process called gift-splitting–to jointly give $28,000 to any person tax-free. Spouses can gift-split by giving $14,000 each, $28,000 from a joint account or $28,000 from one of their individual accounts. These restrictions apply whether you make outright gifts to individuals or put the funds into trusts for their benefit.

Any gift that’s more than the annual exclusion counts against the lifetime gift tax exclusion – the amount that each individual can give away during life without triggering gift tax. Once you have passed the limit, which is currently $5.43 million, gift tax of up to 40% applies. Couples can also gift-split with their applicable exclusion amount and together transfer up to $10.5 million through lifetime gifts.

It is essential for those considering gay estate planning to research as much as they can on the issue. However, the information available can often be overwhelming or confusing, or you may not know what action to take once you have made decisions on these matter. For a reputable and trustworthy attorney in New York who can help with family and estate issues, call Anthony M. Brown, head of Nontraditional Family and Estates division of Albert W. Chianese & Associations, at 212-953-6447 or email questions to Brown@awclawyer.com.

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in Estate Planning / Legal / Legislation / Parenting / Recently Added  by Anthony Brown 0 comments

The Story Behind America’s Youngest Gay Dad

Twenty-year-old Brian Mariano finds the normal life overrated as he explores being a gay dad with his 2-year-old son Aison.

Mariano became a father with then-girlfriend Kelly when he was still in high school, and the two are negotiating all the struggles of young parenthood – plus a few extra. As a father, Brian Mariano feels lucky to have close family and friends who support him. But the gay dad (the youngest American gay dad we know of) from Newton, Massachusetts, admits that sometimes some people just don’t get him.

“Everybody in my life is really supportive of me,” he said. “If it’s someone new and a friend mentions I’m a dad, they will stop. ‘Wait, what? How are you a dad? You’re gay.’ It’s like that ‘Mean Girls’ quote sometimes. You know – ‘if you’re from Africa, why are you white?’”Gay dad

Still, Mariano knows that from the outside looking in, his story is anything but typical. The young man was a junior in high school when his girlfriend, Kelly, became pregnant. They had been dating for a year.

“I like to refer to myself as a ‘Kellysexual,’ which may sound really weird,” he said. “I’m gay, but there’s Kelly. Everybody kind of knew that I was gay. I didn’t really have to say it. People will come along and ask if our relationship was a cover-up. And I say, well, I got her pregnant, so I don’t think that’s the case.”

Kelly gave birth to Aison Mariano-Nichols, who will be turning 3 years old in March. The two stayed together for the first two years of Aison’s life before they eventually split.

Click here to read the entire story

 

gayswithkids.com – December 12, 2015 by Michael Lambert

in Family Stories / In the News / Parenting / Personal Stories  by Anthony Brown 0 comments

Same Sex Couples on Birth Certificates in Arkansas

Same Sex Couples on Birth Certificates Statewide in Arkansas

A state judge ruled on Tuesday that Arkansas must list both members of same sex couples as parents on official birth certificates issued across the state, broadening his earlier finding on behalf of three married lesbian couples with children.

Little Rock Circuit Judge Tim Fox held that a state law restricting parentage identification to heterosexual couples was unconstitutional in light of the U.S. Supreme Court’s decision this year legalizing same-sex marriage nationwide. “(The) decision affords the plaintiffs, as same-sex couples, the same constitutional rights with respect to the issuance of birth certificates and amended birth certificates as opposite-sex couples,” Fox wrote in his decision.

Same sex couples, gay parents, lesbian parents

A spokesman for Arkansas Attorney General Leslie Rutledge said she would review Fox’s order before commenting.

“It was a wonderful decision,” said Cheryl Maples, attorney for the plaintiffs. “It was exactly what we wanted.”

The state had resisted identifying same-sex couples as parents on Arkansas birth certificates largely on technical grounds, arguing the protocol was established by the Legislature and the state Health Board and could not be changed without action by either, or both.

Click here to read the entire post

 

New York Times vis Reuters, December 1, 2015

in In the News / Legal / Parenting  by Anthony Brown 0 comments

Marital presumption discrepancy Wisconsin’s laws

Despite gay marriage legalization, LGBTQ community still struggles with marital presumption laws

One Wisconsin couple tried working their way through the courts to “ungender,: or change marital presumption paternity laws. Wisconsin’s 2nd District Court of Appeals upheld a judge’s decision Nov. 4 to dismiss a gay couple’s request for one partner to become the legal parent of her wife’s child. Marsha Mansfield, a University of Wisconsin law professor, said the court dismissed the request because the couple did not go through the correct legal process. She said they filed their case as an adoption, when they were actually aiming to change the constitutionality of a law.

When they first filed their request, Mansfield said the couple would have needed to notify former Attorney General J.B. Van Hollen, an opponent of gay marriage, which they failed to do.

Emily Dudak Taylor, the attorney on the couple’s case, said the Attorney General was present during the process and at the appeal, and the case being filed as an adoption should not have mattered. She said writing the decision off as a simple procedural error was a skewed way of viewing the issue.

“It’s completely unfair and unequal,” Taylor said. “It’s not just a minor procedural issue at all.”

The decision indicates the court’s avoidance of the greater issue at hand, stating that marriage equality has “hit a wall” with implementation on the state level, Taylor said.

She said the goal of her case was to “ungender” the parental presumption of paternity, a law that grants husbands the status of legal parent and placement on the birth certificate of their wives’ children simply by signing a document at the hospital, without investigating how the child was conceived.

The law’s wording needs to be ungendered from husband to spouse, and father to parent, so the parental presumption can also apply to a female spouse, Taylor said.

Currently, since the law only deals with heterosexual couples, it is unclear what gay couples are supposed to do in cases where one partner has a biological child through artificial insemination, Taylor said. Sometimes her wife becomes the legal parent, and sometimes they have to go through an unnecessary adoption process, she said.

Lesbian women shouldn’t have to adopt their own children simply because they were conceived through artificial insemination, Taylor said.

Click here to read the entire article.

 

by Emily Hamer, December 1, 2015, The Badger Herald

in Adoption / In the News / Legal / Parenting / Second Parent Adoption / Step Parent Adoption  by Anthony Brown 0 comments

Second parent adoption key to creating security

Growing evidence around secure, same-sex families shows that their children are happy and healthy.  Securing those families through second parent adoption or step parent adoption is key to creating this security.

Second parent adoption is needed and recommended as one tenet of the debate surrounding same-sex marriage has focused on whether same-sex parents provide poorer conditions for raising children compared with different-sex parents. Political and public dialogue ensures that this notion remains pervasive and persuasive, even though the Supreme Court decision this summer ensured marriage equality in the U.S.

And it isn’t just talk: Laws exist that implicitly reflect the rhetoric that somehow same-sex parents are different.

For example, even though same-sex couples make decisions together to have a child, and even if both parents appear on the birth certificate, the nonbiological parent may have limited legal rights over the child.

In Texas, two parents of the same sex are even prohibited from being listed on supplemental birth certificates, only allowing for parents where “one of whom must be a female, named as the mother, and the other of whom must be a male, named as the father.”

Laws and Policies That Undermine Same-Sex Parenting Are Not Based on Science

Although all states offer second parent adoption to same-sex parents in legally recognized unions, only 15 states and the District of Columbia offer second-parent adoption to same-sex parents in cohabiting relationships. This means that in cases where the parents are not married, the nonbiological partner may be denied access to the children.

An underlying assumption about parents in same-sex couples seems to be that same-sex parents are less invested or are unable to follow through on the types of parenting that matter for children.

This type of argument is often rooted in the idea that biological parents who are partnered with each other have an advantage over a parent partnered with someone other than their child’s biological parent, with nonbiological parents less likely to invest or commit to children who are not their “own.”

This is wrong and must stop.

Laws and policies that undermine the rights of same-sex parents are more based on politics than on actual science of how they parent. Same-sex parents who conceive children via assisted reproductive technology, for example, should have the same parental rights as heterosexual parents who conceive via assisted reproductive technology and do not have to jump through the same legal hoop.

Very little research has directly tested whether there are different types of parenting investments by same-sex couples. However, in one study that we conducted, we found no difference in the amount of time parents spend with children between same-sex parents and different-sex mothers. But there is a catch.

Mothers in same-sex relationships, fathers in same-sex relationships, and mothers in heterosexual relationships spent about the same amount of time in child-focused activities, about 100 minutes a day.

Men in heterosexual relationships, however, spent significantly less child-focused time than all three other groups of parents — about 50 minutes per day. That means the only difference that we found tended to favor same-sex couples (and heterosexual mothers).

Importantly, these differences persisted when we controlled for factors that have well-known influences on time spent with children, including parent’s education, the number of children, the age of the children, and parent’s time spent working or commuting.

Here’s the catch to this “no difference” conclusion. When combining estimates across mothers and fathers to look at time investments at the family level, not just by individual parents, children raised in same-sex families would receive an average of 3.5 hours of child-focused time a day, compared with 2.5 hours for children in heterosexual families.

Click here to read the entire article.

 

News.UTexas.edu, by Kate Prickett & Alexa Martin-Storey, November 19, 2015

in Adoption / Legal / Parenting / Second Parent Adoption / Step Parent Adoption  by Anthony Brown 0 comments

Same Sex Parenting Cases: Evidence Over Ideology?

Evidence Over Ideology in Same Sex Parenting Cases?

Last Friday, a Utah judge reversed an order in a same sex parenting cases, he had issued just three days earlier that would have removed a young girl from her home because her foster parents are lesbians. Under fierce pressure that even included grumbling by the state’s Republican governor, Judge Scott Johansen issued a temporary reversal after first ruling that it was “not in the best interest of children to be raised by same-sex couples.” The shift is good news for the girl and her foster parents, April Hoagland and Beckie Peirce; for child welfare advocates; and for anyone concerned with fairness, equality, or evidence-based policy.

Evidence should trump ideology when deciding on same sex parenting cases

Yet the matter is far from over. Johansen set a December date for the girl’s fate to be argued at a hearing. And the judge’s revised order left intact a critical foundation of his initial reasoning: what the judge still calls “a concern that research has shown that children are more emotionally and mentally stable when raised by a mother and father in the same home.”

Hoagland and Peirce told a news station they believe the judge relied on his religious beliefs to make his decision, something that would be plainly unconstitutional. Does the judge have any sound reason to give straight couples preference over same-sex ones?

Asked in court to cite any of the “myriad” studies he reportedly referenced in ruling against the same-sex couple, Johansen declined. And for good reason: There are none. A research team I direct, based at Columbia Law School, conducted one of the most exhaustive analyses of peer-reviewed studies on same-sex parenting published over the last 30 years. Our initiative, the What We Know Project, started with the question, “What does the scholarly research say about the well being of children with gay or lesbian parents?” Our results, which are constantly updated as new research emerges, are posted at our site, with links to the studies or their abstracts.

What did we find? Currently, there are 77 scholarly articles that address this question. Of those, 73—the vast majority—found that children raised in same-sex parenting homes fare just as well as their peers. Could the four outliers be the “myriad” studies Johansen is referencing? Not if he’s done an ounce of homework and is being remotely honest about what the research says. For starters, basing a ruling that breaks a family apart on four studies that are contradicted by 73 others is questionable on its face. But equally important, these four studies do not actually prove what their authors claim they do, and anyone who looks at them closely can see that.

Reviewing the studies clarifies that they all suffer from the same fundamental flaw: While the authors tout the importance of large, random samples and imply that that’s what they’re using, they in fact rely on samples that are anything but. Here’s how this works: They start with very large samples that come from a reliable dataset like the census. In some cases the original sample is as large as several million people. Out of this much ballyhooed sample size, researchers struggle to identify families in which a stable, same-sex couple raised children from infancy—the relevant standard, since what’s usually being debated, as in the Utah case, is whether such a couple ought to be allowed to parent. So researchers create their own definitions for what constitutes an “LGB” family, and they are uniformly very loose. In some cases they just ask children if a parent ever had a same-sex relationship and throw the “yes” kids into a category called “LGBT families”—even though they are a world apart from a situation in which children are raised by a stable, same-sex couple. This is not to say one type of family is superior to another, just that we must compare apples to apples to yield any useful conclusions about same-sex parenting. (Many of the gay-supportive studies also use small samples, but their authors don’t suggest otherwise, and—most important—they are actually studying children raised by same-sex parents.)

Click here to read the entire article.

by Nathaniel Frank, Slate.com
in Ethics / Foster Care / Parenting  by Anthony Brown 0 comments